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Thread: Divorce agreement

  1. #1
    Business Member IRUNGUNS's Avatar
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    Jul 2012

    Divorce agreement

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT......prepared by an anonymous law student
    THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT That I can hardly believe it was designed by a young law student.
    Whatever, or whenever he runs for some spot... in politics, I’ll vote for him.
    The person who wrote this is a college (law) student.
    Perhaps there is hope for them after all.


    Dear Canadian liberals, leftists, B.C. social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Castro supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together for 150 years for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.

    I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of Canada cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.


    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion.

    We will settle for less landmass if we get the right portion, which must include Alberta & Saskatchewan.

    That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy given the favouritism divide.

    Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You can also keep the Carbon Tax.

    --You are welcome to the liberal judges, CUPE and UNIFOR.

    --Since you hate guns, and war we'll take our firearms, the police, and the military.

    --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

    --You can keep Butts, Barbie, Shannon & Suzuki. You are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all four of them.

    --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, the farmers, Wal-Mart and the TSE.

    --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food vouchers, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

    --We'll keep the greedy CEO's and rednecks.

    --You can have the peaceniks, the pipeline protesters, and anti-everything economically beneficial crowd.

    -- When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide security.

    --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian value.

    --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, peoplekind, political correctness and Mr. Dress Up.

    --You can also have our share of the U.N. We will no longer be paying any part of that bill.

    --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt, Tesla and Leaf you can find.

    --You can give everyone free and regulated everything healthcare…. if you can find any practicing doctors.

    --We'll keep "God Save the Queen" and "The Old National Anthem words."

    --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine" or "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", with "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

    --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our language, the war memorials and the Queen’s picture.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberals and socialists. And if you do not agree, just hit delete.

    In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely, Anonymous Law Student

    P.S. Also, please only invite Leonard DiCaprio, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Michael Moore, Barbara Streisand, and Hanoi Jane Fonda to your portion of landmass.

    Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking in .

    Flat rate shipping to Canada is 25.00USD on all accessory and ammunition orders regardless of quantities ordered. Firearms are exported to Canada at a flat rate of 25.00USD per firearm.

    The IRUNGUNS Team

  2. #2
    CGN Ultra frequent flyer CosmiC10R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Living the Dream in Rural Alberta

    Friggin awesome....
    It's not about money.... It's about sending a message...
    Member - NRA (Bloomie made me do it ) - CCFR - NFA - CPC
    Juster - "I came to CGN for the firearms information, but stayed for the supportive mental health ecosystem"

  3. #3
    CGN Ultra frequent flyer trebor2880's Avatar
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    Aug 2010
    Pretty good, 'cept for the part 'bout keeping the Monarchy. That's #1 on my list on things to get rid of.

  4. #4
    CGN Regular FannyBayR1's Avatar
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    Oct 2016
    Comox Valley

  5. #5
    Newbie LLee's Avatar
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    Dec 2017
    Comox Valley
    Pretty funny

  6. #6
    CGN Regular
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by trebor2880 View Post
    Pretty good, 'cept for the part 'bout keeping the Monarchy. That's #1 on my list on things to get rid of.
    Yes that is the only point that doesn't sit right with me.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by trebor2880 View Post
    Pretty good, 'cept for the part 'bout keeping the Monarchy. That's #1 on my list on things to get rid of.

  8. #8
    Super GunNutz Thunderhog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    East Kootneys
    Quote Originally Posted by trebor2880 View Post
    Pretty good, 'cept for the part 'bout keeping the Monarchy. That's #1 on my list on things to get rid of.

    Agreed, loose the monarchy!
    "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" Edmund Burke

  9. #9
    CGN Ultra frequent flyer just having some fun's Avatar
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    Apr 2008

    you can keep the city of Toronto and Ottawa

  10. #10
    CGN Regular shuraparabellum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    #### hole gta
    I support this agreement with all my heart!!! You guys are awesome!

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