I can understand why you are upset and am sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Please remember though, the real reason you don't have your 9mm PDP is because of the government. Yes, FOC made a mistake with your order, and with everything going on it ended up being a critical one. They are human, humans make mistakes, and they appear to have been accountable for the issue and tried to offer you a solution despite the impossible circumstances. What else do you expect?
From your side of the story, the timeline you presented really only leaves me thinking they could have done better with maintaining contact, and they could consider updating their policies so such an event doesn't happen again. I agree it seems odd they are not transparent with ref numbers, but I don't know their reasoning for that. They can't go back in time. What's done is done. You can perhaps negotiate for some other deal on something else you would like, but end of the day complaining on here will not bring your PDP back.
From their perspective they messed up, so if they're accountable they will apologize, fix the mistake and make up the value. Unfortunately they cannot fix the mistake and this is not their fault, that lies solely with our government. I still firmly believe we can turn this around if we stay united and focused on educating our friends and family, and keep pressure on our representatives. Infighting on CGN is counter productive to that end.
My advice; focus on what you are grateful for having, remember that despite our individual differences we are all on the same team (including FOC), work out a deal with them that is reasonable for their part in this, definitely keep the PPQ, and use it to introduce your family and friends to this great community. Few things beat a first experience with a .22 pistol.