A little Winter War Humour

hammerz75

hammerz75

CGN Regular
Rating - 99.3%
140   1   1
Location
Calgary
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian".

The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian."
Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences.

After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence.

The calm Finnish voice calls out again:
"One Finn is better than one thousand Russians"

The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side
of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades,
rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible
battle is fought.... Then Silence.


Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There's two of them."
 
Late summer 1941,somewhere in Russia German armor is rolling down the road.

Soviet Commander swears and calls Ivan:
"Ivan,you see those tanks rolling?"
"Yes,tovarisch Commandir"
"Here,get a granade and go get them"
"Yes,tovarisch Commandir"

Ivan runs there,machine guns blaze away,screams,explosions follow,smoke,steel turrets fly up to the sky...
20 min later everything goes quiet.

Ivan returns,torn uniform,shrapnel in leg,bandage on head,bleeding and barely walking.
"Ivan,did you get them SOB?" asks commander
"Yes,tovarisch Commandir.I got them all"
"Good,now give granade back"


I heard this joke years ago from my Russian friends and I was told there was a lot of similar jokes told around old USSR.They could get you into serious trouble at times.
Also it's much funnier when told in original language and form :)
 
hammerz75 said:
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian".

The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian."
Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences.

After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence.

The calm Finnish voice calls out again:
"One Finn is better than one thousand Russians"

The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side
of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades,
rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible
battle is fought.... Then Silence.


Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There's two of them."
Click to expand...

I just laughed my butt off- thanks for sharing! By the way though, it's not a joke- Simo Hayha kicked a$$ and didn't take prisoners.
 
Same corner of the world...my father used to say "Ten thousand Swede's crawled through the weeds, chased by one Norwegian"
And that is from someone who has no Norwegian stock in his family. A tad hardheaded is the rumor about Norwegians.
 
During WW1 a German general along the Swiss frontier is reputed to have said to his Swiss counterpart, " I could attack you at any moment. I have twice as many men as you do". "In that case, replied the Swiss general, "I should have to ask each of my soldiers to fire two times".
 
Grizzly Adams said:
So, how many Americans and how many tons of supplies did it take to equal One Viet Cong ? :)

Grizz
Click to expand...

Same as today. One Costco of items and staff per kill. Mathematically, the west could probably just buy each enemy a house, and feed them for a decade. It would be cheaper, and less likely to need to kill the next generation, in a few years. Then again, the military would have to slash their budgets, so better just keep planting them.
 
5440fight said:
Same as today. One Costco of items and staff per kill. Mathematically, the west could probably just buy each enemy a house, and feed them for a decade. It would be cheaper, and less likely to need to kill the next generation, in a few years. Then again, the military would have to slash their budgets, so better just keep planting them.
Click to expand...

awesome and pretty much true, and could be applied to pretty much any "war" since Korea
 
Here, a bit of winter war humour:
0da1d79179be.jpg
 
Last edited:
Just weird!? (not the post) Why would anyone take the time to pose a human being (even the enemy) in such a fashion? I'm assuming he wasn't doing a headstand when he froze to death, and rather someone found him and propped him up like this...(although it would have been before the last snowfall {no foot prints, just drifting snow}).

*edit* Does anyone recognize the uniform? I think that's a very large chest pocket visible under his overcoat (which appears well insulated, and he's wearing longjohn's...blackened heels and hand=frostbite?)
 
QUOTE from 5440FIGHT:

" Mathematically, the west could probably just buy each enemy a house, and feed them for a decade. "

We don't need to.

They are coming here and going on Welfare..... and idiot places like Toronto have "sanctuary city" laws in place.
 
plinker 777 said:
Just weird!? (not the post) Why would anyone take the time to pose a human being (even the enemy) in such a fashion? I'm assuming he wasn't doing a headstand when he froze to death, and rather someone found him and propped him up like this...(although it would have been before the last snowfall {no foot prints, just drifting snow}).

*edit* Does anyone recognize the uniform? I think that's a very large chest pocket visible under his overcoat (which appears well insulated, and he's wearing longjohn's...blackened heels and hand=frostbite?)
Click to expand...

Soldiers do weird things in War. This one's pretty tame. Kind of like whistling while walking past the graveyard. :)

Grizz
 
tokguy said:
Same corner of the world...my father used to say "Ten thousand Swede's crawled through the weeds, chased by one Norwegian"
And that is from someone who has no Norwegian stock in his family. A tad hardheaded is the rumor about Norwegians.
Click to expand...
A guy I used to work with liked to say "you can always tell a Norwegian, you just can't tell him much." I'm Norwegian. Whenever one of the guys if British ancestry would get too#lippy I would tell him that "my ancestors used to rape and pillage yours". Not much of a comeback for that.
Kristian
 
@ TURBO_BIRD:

Might I recommend your reading up on the Battle of Stamford Bridge (25 September, 1066)?

King Harald Sigurdsson and jarl Tosti both were killed in the battle, as was Oeysteain Orri and nearly the entire Norwegian Army. The battlefield was WHITE with bleached bones 50 years after the battle.

Following the fight, Prince Olaf, who accompanied the Army but was guarding the Ships by his father's order, went to King Harold Godwinsson and begged for his father`s body.

King Harold gave the young man his father's body in return for a PLEDGE: Never again would Englishman and Norseman make war on one another.

The promise, from King Olaf Kyrre to King Harold Godwinsson, has been kept now for 948 years.

Thus ENDED the Viking Age.

BTW, much of the "Viking Age" raiding against England was STATE-SUPPORTED TERRORISM on the part of King Harald Bluetooth and his son, King Sven Forkbeard, the DANISH monarchs. It STOPPED, completely, when Knut Sveinsson became King of England. It had done its job. A major country had been kept in an expensive state of war-readiness for over 50 years...... at a cost to the aggressor of less than nothing.

It WORKED.

If WE are not careful, it will work AGAIN...... HERE.
 
A unit is approaching uncharted territory, so the officer in-charge sends 2 men to scout ahead. A horrible cacophony arises, and only one scout makes it back, his words before blacking-out being “it’s a bacon-tree!”


Confused but with officer-like resolve, two more scouts are sent ahead…only to have them return in an utterly shoddy and shot-up state, gasping something about a bacon-tree as well.


Well, the officer’s had quite enough of this, and then goes to personally scout-out the road ahead. He gets to within five feet of a clearly blood-spattered piece of ground, and suddenly a machine gun opens up on him! Mortally wounded, the officer struggles but makes it back to his men, and with his dying words says:


You idiots! It’s not a bacon-tree…it’s a ham-bush!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom