I don't see how measuring my loads after they are made is going to help
How else are you going to determine your overall length? You measure as you are setting up your die for the seating depth you want. Start long and work down to your optimal OAL. Once your die is set you should not have to bugger around with it.
You stated you wanted a 3.25 C.O.A.L.
Since your bullets tips will vary in length, you will never get a consistent measurement off the tip.
Here is is how I determine my seating depth:
I take a bullet and hold it to the lands with a handgun cleaning rod (you can use a pencil a stick or your ##### if you want

), I then put my cleaning rod down the bore until it touches the bullet, I mark my rod at the muzzle, remove the bullet and put the bolt in. I then push the cleaning rod to the face of the bolt and mark the rod again. This gives me the distance to the lands with ONLY that bullet. I then use my seater to seat the same bullet until I have the same measurement as the marks on my rod.
This is where the comparator comes into play, Let's say the bullet I just seated gives an overall length (base of case to bullet tip) of 3.75
I can then measure that dummy round with my comparator and since the comparator measures off the ogive you will get a true and proper measurement of your OAL. Let's say the Comparator measurement is 3.45
Now, if you know that your optimal OAL is .020 off the lands you can seat your bullets .020 deeper into the case than the dummy round to an OAL of 3.25 measured with the comparator. You subsequent rounds will (or should) measure within .0005 of that number if your dies are set up properly etc...
If you load 5 rounds, all checked with the comparator to within that .0005, and then measure the same 5 rounds with your normal tip to base method you will probably find that .010-.015 difference again, but you can be assured that the ogive is in the same place on all 5 rounds and only the extruded tip/lead tip is causing the difference.
Hope this explains it for you.