camp out house poets(or related hunting jokes)
- Thread starter fogducker
- Start date
Reminds me of a story dad told me about the time the Carnation Milk company had a country wide slogan search. $50 prize for the best slogan to sell Carnation canned milk.This fella wrote: Carnation milk, the best in the land.Here I sit, with a can in my hand. No t*ts to pull, no sh*t to pitch. Just punch a hole in the son of a b**ch.
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ok got it
Oh yes ... and her entry was:
Milk Contest Her ancestors had been farmers. Her parents had been farmers. And she had married a farmer. She was plain of feature and built sort of like a Holstein cow. She knew no other life than the farm life she knew. They had cows and horses and sheep and goats and pigs and chickens and ducks and . . . And of course, they also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers market. Unable to grow salt and coconut and some few exotic items, she went shopping at the local grocery store for the few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves. There she saw some small cans of Carnation condensed milk which had a contest entry form at the display. It being one of her more disgruntled days, she dug in her purse and came up with a stub of a pencil which she used to complete the jingle with some thoughts, which stuck her. Carnation had furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all ...." and the submitter had only to complete the remainder of the jingle on the entry form using 50 words or less. She had scant hope of winning the contest, but felt better once she had completed the entry form with her thoughts on it.
A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a representative from the Carnation Milk Company came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. Then he went on to explain that regrettably the company could not publish it. In lieu of that later fact, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award. He then presented her with a check from the Carnation Milk Company in the amount of $1,000 for her creativity.
Oh yes ... and her entry was:
I like Carnation best of all, No t*ts to pull, no sh*t to haul. No barns to clean, no hay to pitch, Just punch a hole in the son of a b*tch.
Oh yes ... and her entry was:
Milk Contest Her ancestors had been farmers. Her parents had been farmers. And she had married a farmer. She was plain of feature and built sort of like a Holstein cow. She knew no other life than the farm life she knew. They had cows and horses and sheep and goats and pigs and chickens and ducks and . . . And of course, they also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers market. Unable to grow salt and coconut and some few exotic items, she went shopping at the local grocery store for the few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves. There she saw some small cans of Carnation condensed milk which had a contest entry form at the display. It being one of her more disgruntled days, she dug in her purse and came up with a stub of a pencil which she used to complete the jingle with some thoughts, which stuck her. Carnation had furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all ...." and the submitter had only to complete the remainder of the jingle on the entry form using 50 words or less. She had scant hope of winning the contest, but felt better once she had completed the entry form with her thoughts on it.
A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a representative from the Carnation Milk Company came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. Then he went on to explain that regrettably the company could not publish it. In lieu of that later fact, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award. He then presented her with a check from the Carnation Milk Company in the amount of $1,000 for her creativity.
Oh yes ... and her entry was:
I like Carnation best of all, No t*ts to pull, no sh*t to haul. No barns to clean, no hay to pitch, Just punch a hole in the son of a b*tch.
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- Location
- Cottage Country, Ontario
Rise and Shine
My Father-in-law's Favourite wake up call at home, hunt camp, or church was..
"Drop your cocks and grab your socks" followed by any number of other descriptive bits aimed at whoever he was talking to.
Great guy.. Colourful.. but a hunter.
mb
My Father-in-law's Favourite wake up call at home, hunt camp, or church was..
"Drop your cocks and grab your socks" followed by any number of other descriptive bits aimed at whoever he was talking to.
Great guy.. Colourful.. but a hunter.
mb
