need sugestion on new 9mm

Keep in mind that the M&P comes with two or three back strap adapters to suit different hands. So if/when someone lets you try theirs be sure to ask which size of grip adjuster is on the gun. It'll give you a better idea of how it'll fit with the smaller ones.

Another smaller grip striker gun is the Ruger SR9. I am not a fan of the striker trigger and to me the SR9 trigger felt like I was pulling against a rubber band. But the grips are small feeling and the gun certainly can shoot. I got some really nice small group sizes despite it being my first time shooting that gun.
 
is it me or pistol whit smal grip are usualy striker fired?

Yes, there are a lot of striker fired pistols with small grips but, there are also quite a few SA/DA that are small too. Examples include: 1911's(single stack), CZ75 and all variants and clones(Jericho 941, Tanfoglio, EAA Witness exc.), HK P30, HK P2000, exc.
 
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