I have small hands and it is always a struggle for me to buy pistol.
First of all, it is not just about grip size. you have to look at the shape of the grip, especially the upper part. First of all, some grip shape is better for better with lower grip strength. Contrary to some thinking, a little bit of swell nearthe heel actually helps with the "squeeze", so you don't necessary want to have the skinniest grip at the bottom, but you want skinny grip at the trigger level. Any material on the grip near the trigger means the trigger finger is pushed out and it is problem for people with small hands. That is why Glock is such a problem for people with small hands. If the finger cannot have a decent reach on the trigger face, it is going to be a problem. It is very difficult to shoot fast and accurately. No matter how much you practice, your grip strength and the technique - you really cannot have good technique if the finger cannot decently and consistently engage the trigger face.
This might sounds counter intuitive to some people, but if you have the dough, try a SIG P226 Legion in SA only. I will also recommend looking into the new CZ CP10. S&W M&P is also a good choice in the lower budget bracket. Steel gun wise, Browning MK3 will also work if you can find one used.