There is no reason that you cannot load to whatever OAL you choose, I would look at relieving the threads in the seating stem instead of cutting dies or shell holders
this should get the stem deep enough into the die, to be honest I have never heard of a similar problem as yours, something is off somewhere that's for sure.
The FMJBT bullet is usually crimped and so is all factory ammo and some of it shoots far better that handloads.
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