Tools are tools. It doesn't make much sense to use a torque wrench when what you need is a screwdriver. Shotguns are tools.
The SxS is the best tool for an instinctive ("snap shot") style of shooting, most often employed in upland game hunting situations. However, not every SxS is designed as an upland hunting tool. Many American SxS's were designed with duck hunting in mind, and they do not lend themselves to instinctive shooting techniques. A snap shooting tool is finely balanced and designed to be very quick to shoulder. The gun sits very low in the hands and makes for a natural pointer. In order for the gun to shoot where the hunter is looking, it is critical that the gun stock fit the shooter. Unless you are ordering a new SxS and can specify the stock dimensions for length, drop and cast, it is likely that you will have to modify the stock to fit. Many methods can be used to do this, from actually reshaping the wood to adding pads and leather strips. If the gun does not properly fit the shooter, then every snap shot will miss, as the hunter has no time to make corrections or adjust for the fit of the gun (instinctive shooting, remember).
Given a finely balanced SxS with a properly fitted stock there is no better tool for taking fast flushing pheasants, wild grouse or any other game which takes the hunter by surprise.
If you are pass shooting ducks or geese, or shooting at clay targets where the trajectory is somewhat known, then a more deliberate style of shooting is employed and the advantages of the SxS are diminished.
As for the gauge debate, stop looking at the size of the barrel and start looking at the loads you are shooting. You may shoot a 20 gauge with 1 oz. loads, or a 12 gauge with the same amount of shot. In this case the 12 gauge should be the better choice, because all other things being equal the 12 gauge will throw a better pattern. However, if you are shooting 1 1/8 oz. of shot out of the 12 gauge, and 7/8 oz. of shot from the 20 then all the 12 gauge does is throw more pellets and chew up the bird. The 20 offers lighter shells and a lighter gun, both of which are desirable in an upland situation. Choke selection also enters into the equation. Many upland hunters swear by their 20 gauges because they are using a light gun with chokes suited to the game and distance. In reality a lightweight 12 gauge with open chokes and light loads will accomplish the same thing, but may be harder to find. Few people seem interested in non - magnum 12 gauges these days.
SxS's have the weight of tradition with them, and few other designs have the graceful proportions inherent in a properly constructed double. The history, design, weight and balance of a "game gun" are hard to beat. They are, however, still tools.
In the end, it is still the best strategy to use the best tool for the job at hand. If your friend is talking strictly in the context of upland hunting, and is referring to the traditional style "game gun" when referring to SxS's, and understands the concept and criticality of gun fit, then he is (IMHO) correct. If he is talking in broad generalities, giving one type of gun an advantage in all situations, then he doesn't understand the tools. Just for the record, I am an ardent proponent of SxS game guns.
Sharptail