the spank
CGN Ultra frequent flyer
- Location
- Planet Earth Wearing My Tinfoil Hat
In July of '93 my good pal and hunting and fishing buddy "Big J" was going to be celebrating his 50[SUP]th[/SUP] birthday and by the invitation I received I knew it would be a memorable occasion.
The question was what to get a fellow who pretty much had everything any outdoorsman could accumulate over a lifetime of outdoor pursuits, not to mention one who constantly rubbed you over your choice of firearms.
Being 20+ years younger and not having a lot of disposable income meant that my gun cabinet was void of fine doubles such as a pair of original 20 gauge Parkers and a 20 gauge A.H Fox Sterlingworth Grade that were all impeccable! "My pal's" gun cabinet however was well stocked with these and many other such items including Browning Safari Grade bolt action rifles, Winchester Model 88's of every type and calibre, Browning Superposed's, Auto-5's, Model 12's and more pre-64 Model 70's than the Winchester Firearms Museum.
Instead I had a lowly Winchester Model 101 Ducks Unlimited 50[SUP]th[/SUP] 12 ga that apparently was made of recycled salmon tins and in the right light you could see the “Clover Leaf” label in the metal and smell an oily fishy smell after heating up the barrels through repeated fire, provided my “we beat them in WW2” Japanese technology shotgun could fire or hold up?
So you can see the ribbing I took from “my pal” and surely you can understand my having such reverance for such a friend?!
So back to my issue, what to get a person so used to the best of outdoor equipment, a man of almost blue blood, a person of such distinguished taste and culture? I thought long and hard and it finally came to me. I had seen this man in action countless times fishing, hunting, ridding the bush of pesky and beautiful creatures alike and I realized the only “blue” in his blood was the same DNA shared by a bluetick hound so it made purchasing or selecting a gift very easy. He needed a one of a kind gun. Something that said “Big J” to anyone, friends, family, even those who did not know this fellow who or what "Big J" was about. What he needed was a “paddlegun”.
My search began in the dark dusty shop of a local gunsmith's shop. A gunsmith who also knew of the legendary “Big J” and had also received a formal invitation to said 50[SUP]th[/SUP] birthday celebration. Who better to help me find a gun befitting of “Big J”?
So I visited with my gunsmith friend, a Mr. Steve Holborn of Callander, Ont.. and put my idea to him. I told him I needed a Cooey single shot 12 gauge, any condition but preferably working. Well all my friend had in his inventory was a Model 84 Cooey that had spent it's life on an east coast fishing boat killing seals and all manner of fish robbing creatures and it was more of an unrecogniseable rusted lump of metal than anything. It did not have a stock, or bead on the barrel, it could not be opened, it was rusted closed but it still had a tight fitting fore end and the inside of the barrel wasn't pitted? I had found the gun, that with a little rubbing, polishing and maybe hammering with a sledge hammer would produce a fine masterpiece befitting a man of “Big J's” stature.
First the fore end was removed and dismantled. The metal parts placed in a tub of penetrating oil.
I needed to be able to get the action to open and be able to remove the barrel. This was placed in a pail of penetrating fluid as well, standing up, action completely covered. Two days later I was able to push the slide release and the barrel was removed. Then came the process of scraping the heavy rust scale from the receivers surface and finally polishing it. Then to the polishing wheel with the barrel and other metal parts. This was truly a labor of love, not of "Big J" but of guns, no gun deserves to be treated as this one was, even if it wasn't destined to go to a person of such greatness this firearm deserved better than to be a lightning rod!
Now to make a stock. This is where Steve Holborn stepped in again. When I told him we needed a stock shaped like a canoe paddle he about pee'd himself laughing and could not grab a piece of rough cut spruce 2”x 8” he had in the wood shed fast enough. In a heartbeat he had a paddle laying on that 2”x 8” as a pattern and traced it out. Of course being a gunsmith he said it also had to resemble a stock somewhat?! It had to have the right drop at heel, height of comb and pitch to be able to be fired accurately. So he set about creating a stock. After he was done he inletted, fit and mated it to the receiver.
We then together pulled the action down, went over it all and made sure all was good to go. After all the gun had to work, it had to fire and be reliable.
Next in the truest sense of firearms embellishing, like a true master engraver came my next part. With great joy I used the finest of metal stamps and worn out gunsmith hammers to create the truly one a kind unique firearm “Big J” was so deserving of.
With all the force I could muster, one letter at a time I “pounded” into the side of that receiver “Big J 50[SUP]th[/SUP] Limited Edition”. It was like staring at the receiver of my salmon tin 101. No embellishing from any modern day factory could ever compare, this was hand done! Like that of the great B-25 Browning engravers!!
Next came the finishing touches. Nothing but the finest for “my pal”!
A paddle handle was fashioned which served a dual purpose. First it provided a comfy handle so “my pal” would not cut his hand on the bead of the barrel while paddling and secondly it would help to keep the gun afloat a few seconds longer should he drop it in the drink. He would not want to lose such a prized piece, not many, if any shooters can say their duck gun has a plug and floating capability. Hopefully "my pal" would remember in his moments of anxiousness and over exuberance for killing "critters" to remove the handle before firing?! He sometimes is not the sharpest tool in the shed you know!!
Then I pulled out all the stops, again nothing but the best for "my pal". A brand new, never garage stored 4 pack of Krylon camo paints. First was the grey primer coat, over that was the base coat of olive drab. Next I grabbed a stencil kit, nothing but the best for “my pal”, I stepped out the door of the shop and cut off a few nice ferns. I layed them on the gun and applied the flat grey and flat black overtones to create the one of a kind “Callander Redneck Camo” pattern.
When all had dried I placed one of those red plastic hollow beads that gathers light, the type found on old Ithica and SKB XL900's on the end of the barrel. They were the original fibre optics type sight and since my buddy appreciated “old school” so much well he deserved a proper old school bead.
Of course such a special firearm needed to come with a manual for a new owner to fully understand and appreciate all his new firearm had to offer so with my superior early 90's DOS computer skills I put together an owners manual for 'my pal” to be able to get the most out of his new firearm.
Along came the special day and with all his friends, family, neighbours and enemies gathered about “my pal” was presented with his new “paddle gun” from his not so incredibly rich or blue blooded pal. I could see his eyes grow large as he unwrapped the gun box his new “ultimate gun” was packaged ever so carefully in. I could see his mind whirling, wondering? Model 70? Model 12? Parker? Purdey?
I knew he would never suspect or expect such a gun as he would receive, he could not have imagined he would receive something that would make a Perazzi or Krieghoff owner jealous!!
So with a final happy birthday said to “my pal” as he opened the end of the box and poured out his new gun I sat back and grinned, the look on his face was priceless and unfortunately I was too overwhelmed to think to take a picture so I only have the look on his face etched in my memory as do 35-50 of his closet friends and family.
For those of you who have no idea who “Big J” is.........here on CGN he is known as Deerdr.........and yes he is "my pal" and this is his gun!
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