Wiped ass with birchbark...hoop still sore...

i saw in a magazine...a toilet seat that hooked into the trailer hitch of your pickup truck... great idea.. just need one for the quad runner

flannel shirt tails ... cut n off and use um to wipe ( your shirt is still good and you've never had a smooooooooother wipe ... besides #### really sticks to flannel )

don't use Ferns !! they don't work well... its that or use pine trees, i'll take the ferns

hey.. whadda heck did the caveman use ? or cave babies ? man, my kids went through 5 diapers a day.... giving my self a headache just thinking about that cluster f for cave people, thank goodness for progress, TP, and flannel
 
ice fishing in a survivor suit had me clenching my teeth - I tried to time my walk off the ice (about 1 km) to not coincide with other groups walking off. My only chance was to sneak a dump mid-way during the walk, as the turtle had reared its head several times at this point.

My last chance for a timely exit had me pack-up quickly and start a fast walk, only to discover within seconds that another group of anglers had just starting to walk to shore - and therefore foil my attempt to release this now toxic mass undetected. I unloaded (no pun) inside my survivor suit and it bloated from all the gas - what a ride home in the heated car that was...
 
blauber said:
ice fishing in a survivor suit had me clenching my teeth - I tried to time my walk off the ice (about 1 km) to not coincide with other groups walking off. My only chance was to sneak a dump mid-way during the walk, as the turtle had reared its head several times at this point.

My last chance for a timely exit had me pack-up quickly and start a fast walk, only to discover within seconds that another group of anglers had just starting to walk to shore - and therefore foil my attempt to release this now toxic mass undetected. I unloaded (no pun) inside my survivor suit and it bloated from all the gas - what a ride home in the heated car that was...
Click to expand...

Curious. You don't drive on the ice?

...and your ice fishing technique is all wrong. Your supposed to get nice and drunk, pass out, and wake up and go home in the morning. One of the stipulations of building Saskatchewan ice shacks is the ability to sleep on the bench comfortably. You will notice many around here are long and skinny. lol
 
You guys are doing it all wrong.
1- Take off your pants and underwear.
2- find a pine or spruce tree waist high.
3- grab nut sack and lift to protect it
4- straddle tree while walking forward still holding nut sack
5- allow fir or spruce tree to slide smoothly between the crack of your a$$
6- if there is any crap left repeat on another tree
7- release nut sack and replace underwear and pants
 
MIRAMICHIER said:
Sit down on your ass and get you legs moving just like a Dog,works great just got to watch out for brass casings and rocks.
Click to expand...

I just want to get this technique right.... Do you sniff the ground first and do a few circles over the good spot you found before you get your legs moving like a dog?
 
Me 'ol Dad has never been much of a bushman.
As a young lad, one green leafy bush looked much the same as any other to him.
Apparently, poison ivy up the bung hole gets a mite uncomfortable, or so he insists.
He's ninety now, best I thank him soon for that valuable heads up.

I'm with Kenny G2 ... sphagnum.
Easy on the 'roids.
 
Drink'n me mourn'in java and reading these fine replies made me draw back on a hunting memory.
Not a great story, but the look in his eyes should of been cawt on film.

My one hunting buddy meets me in the morning bright and early.
Awf tuh duh bush we go.
Still pretty dark, so the drive was nice and easy and werr yack'n up a storm.
Slurp'in java owt our "Tuh Go" mugs and I roll my winnder down slightly.
You no, the little pre pewp tewts.
"Bastard", says he.
"Skunk smells his own chit first", replies eye.
Okay, the time comes to park and it's still a wee bit dark.
He opens the door and reaches behind the passenger seat and sticks his hand into the
seat cover pocket back there.
Now he's really search'in.
"S'upp"?, asks I.
"Where's the toilet paper you keep back here"?
Dunno, you had it last.
I used it awl up. Figured you're pretty good at keep this pocket supplied.
Fergit.
You got any more.
A bit.
Share?
No.
Why not?
I need it.
I have to go now.
Bye.
Awff he storms.
I laff.
Get me arse all ready and left a part roll on the hood.
Lock up when yer dun, I holler.

Awwwwh, the cuss'in I got later...................:nest:
 
BeaverMeat said:
Curious. You don't drive on the ice?

...and your ice fishing technique is all wrong. Your supposed to get nice and drunk, pass out, and wake up and go home in the morning. One of the stipulations of building Saskatchewan ice shacks is the ability to sleep on the bench comfortably. You will notice many around here are long and skinny. lol
Click to expand...

Drive or no drive, a good test for entrapping liquid (and gas) in a certified survivor suit - which passed the test (I survived!) There was however a couple odd looks in the parking area - the Charlie Brown Pig Pen cloud-o-#### dust was evident. All new meaning to "jig" that day...
 
When caught short , not in years, my process is dump, Have knife in hand, cut down each side of underware, remove to rear, if that ain't enough material to take care of business go home now cause your in for a day of bum gravy!!!!! ROFLMAO
 
Great thread!

Many moons ago, we were out on a moose hunt. Travelling by quad to the area we were going to hunt.

One of the guys, who was somewhat overweight, had to stop on the cutline as he had to go, right now! Most can relate to that.

No problems so we all stop. He went behind his quad, dropped his drawers, grabbed the rear rack of his quad with his left hand, and squatted down the best he could to do business. As stated before, he was a heavyweight, and did not have the luxury of the camp outhouse.

So we are standing in front and heard a scream, and noticed his quad moving backwards...

To make a long hilarious story short...he had to return to change his clothes...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom