Some 9mm 1911 extractors need a ton of tension on them; it depends on the design of the slide.
Since you have two extractors already, and one works better than the other, here's what I'd do:
Take the factory one, which was tight to get in, take a look at the hook. Make sure it looks like this:
In this case that may not really the issue but it's still a good idea.
Once you're happy with the hook, put the extractor back in about 1/3 of the way, and bend it towards you a little. You want to curve the extractor a little more overall. It's already curved a bit, and you just want to increase that.
You can assess the changes by pulling off the slide, removing the barrel and everything, and putting a loaded round in place under the extractor. If you've bent the extractor a bit, it'll get increasingly difficult to shake the round out.
You don't want it to be welded in place but the round should be held fairly snugly. You should have to rap the slide fairly hard to knock it out.
If you screw it up, just start again with your spare. It's easy and you can probably get it sorted in an afternoon.