NOW HIRING: CGN Public Relations Officer

Black Box Customs

Black Box Customs

Regular
Business Member
Rating - 100%
22   0   0
Location
Calgary Alberta
Now Hiring: CGN Public Relations Officer

Are you a seasoned expert in navigating CGN threads with grace, wit, and unshakable patience? Are you the ultimate keyboard warrior, capable of turning a raging dumpster fire of a thread into a mildly controlled campfire? Do you thrive under the pressure of forum debates and excel at diffusing extremely online conflicts? Well, polish up your flameproof suit because we’re hiring!

Position: CGN Public Relations Officer
Location: Remote (though you'll practically live in the forums)
Salary: $0 (but you'll earn endless internet clout and admiration)

Qualifications:
  • Overwhelming thread experience: 10,000+ posts minimum, with proven skills in steering discussions back on topic.
  • Ability to handle intense discussions without resorting to all caps.
  • Fluent in meme culture and GIF responses.
  • Sharp eye for sarcasm and a flawless sense of humor.
  • Knowledge of Canadian hiring listings is a strong asset (but not mandatory, as Google exists).
Key Responsibilities:
  • Respond to threads as our brand voice with tact and charm.
  • Turn heated debates into constructive dialogue (or at least keep them entertaining).
  • Defend against trolls while maintaining your sanity.
  • Mediating 15-page arguments that started over literally nothing.
  • Keeping your cool when someone calls Cerakote “just fancy paint.”
Perks:
  • A 24/7 hotline to other PR officers for emotional support.
  • A commemorative “I’m Still Here” badge after your first locked thread.
  • Free popcorn to enjoy during flame wars.
  • The undying respect of your fellow CGNers—priceless.
How to Apply:
DM us your resume, a screenshot of your most legendary CGN post, and a compelling argument for why you’d survive a 20-page thread war.

Deadline: Whenever this thread inevitably gets locked.

Warning: This job is not for the faint of heart, the easily triggered.
 
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PMGers said:
I am not sure what to think about this post. It's funny given the reactions to your last want ad and I understand the want to get a little dig in. But at the same time it kind of tells me that your operation may be a little less business and a lot more petty or even vindictive; certainly not very professional. As someone that has in the past had a Board of Directors role for a couple smallish up and coming companies I would have been displeased seeing this response. IMHO, there really was nothing wrong with the want ad you placed. Take this for what you will: you might be surprised how far potential investors will dig into histories to help them determine as to whether or not they want to take the risk of buying into what you have to offer. Is this thread a game changer? Probably not, but it would make a serious investor's notes and may even come up in an interview when you are looking for some monies. Again, this is my opinion based on the info I have in hand. We are all entitled to an opinion. Best of luck with your hire(s) search and moving forward with your products and services.
Click to expand...

It’s most likely a younger owner most likely targeting a millennial or younger guy to run their account.

I’ve ran a business account on here, it’s pretty toxic. I’m fluent in memes but tried to be more conservative when posting since the owner was an older gentleman.
 
PMGers said:
I am not sure what to think about this post. It's funny given the reactions to your last want ad and I understand the want to get a little dig in. But at the same time it kind of tells me that your operation may be a little less business and a lot more petty or even vindictive; certainly not very professional. As someone that has in the past had a Board of Directors role for a couple smallish up and coming companies I would have been displeased seeing this response. IMHO, there really was nothing wrong with the want ad you placed. Take this for what you will: you might be surprised how far potential investors will dig into histories to help them determine as to whether or not they want to take the risk of buying into what you have to offer. Is this thread a game changer? Probably not, but it would make a serious investor's notes and may even come up in an interview when you are looking for some monies. Again, this is my opinion based on the info I have in hand. We are all entitled to an opinion. Best of luck with your hire(s) search and moving forward with your products and services.
Click to expand...

I don't feel you'll be a good fit for this position ...
 
Black Box Customs said:
Now Hiring: CGN Public Relations Officer

Are you a seasoned expert in navigating CGN threads with grace, wit, and unshakable patience? Are you the ultimate keyboard warrior, capable of turning a raging dumpster fire of a thread into a mildly controlled campfire? Do you thrive under the pressure of forum debates and excel at diffusing extremely online conflicts? Well, polish up your flameproof suit because we’re hiring!

Position: CGN Public Relations Officer
Location: Remote (though you'll practically live in the forums)
Salary: $0 (but you'll earn endless internet clout and admiration)

Qualifications:
  • Overwhelming thread experience: 10,000+ posts minimum, with proven skills in steering discussions back on topic.
  • Ability to handle intense discussions without resorting to all caps.
  • Fluent in meme culture and GIF responses.
  • Sharp eye for sarcasm and a flawless sense of humor.
  • Knowledge of Canadian hiring listings is a strong asset (but not mandatory, as Google exists).
Key Responsibilities:
  • Respond to threads as our brand voice with tact and charm.
  • Turn heated debates into constructive dialogue (or at least keep them entertaining).
  • Defend against trolls while maintaining your sanity.
  • Mediating 15-page arguments that started over literally nothing.
  • Keeping your cool when someone calls Cerakote “just fancy paint.”
Perks:
  • A 24/7 hotline to other PR officers for emotional support.
  • A commemorative “I’m Still Here” badge after your first locked thread.
  • Free popcorn to enjoy during flame wars.
  • The undying respect of your fellow CGNers—priceless.
How to Apply:
DM us your resume, a screenshot of your most legendary CGN post, and a compelling argument for why you’d survive a 20-page thread war.

Deadline: Whenever this thread inevitably gets locked.

Warning: This job is not for the faint of heart, the easily triggered.
Click to expand...
:ROFLMAO: Now that's a first.
 
PMGers said:
I am not sure what to think about this post. It's funny given the reactions to your last want ad and I understand the want to get a little dig in. But at the same time it kind of tells me that your operation may be a little less business and a lot more petty or even vindictive; certainly not very professional. As someone that has in the past had a Board of Directors role for a couple smallish up and coming companies I would have been displeased seeing this response. IMHO, there really was nothing wrong with the want ad you placed. Take this for what you will: you might be surprised how far potential investors will dig into histories to help them determine as to whether or not they want to take the risk of buying into what you have to offer. Is this thread a game changer? Probably not, but it would make a serious investor's notes and may even come up in an interview when you are looking for some monies. Again, this is my opinion based on the info I have in hand. We are all entitled to an opinion. Best of luck with your hire(s) search and moving forward with your products and services.
Click to expand...
LMAO I am absolutely dying here :ROFLMAO:
 
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