I think it is just great what you are doing and admire what you have to look forward to! Getting up at 4 in the morning, for example, and going to the range looking for calm air to get your zero and test groups. Then staying right through til supper time because the morning stuff wasn't good enough. (Watch the looks from your family when this happens.) Realizing all of a sudden, contrary to your previous belief, that the world is never stable. I put a rifle in a military holder once during one of those early morning vigils at the KTSA range and centered the crosshairs on the head of the turkey gong385 meters away. After the sun came up, and the mirage started running, the point of aim was a foot and half off the target. (I still walk with the 30 degree list that resulted from this.) You will find yourself looking at roads and fields and mountains in an entirely different way, too. My world even now bounces and wiggles alot and I still can't make sense out of it either. In fact, my rifle bounces and wiggles and sometimes I can't tell which is moving the rifle or the world. I genuinely wish better for you. Somebody has to figure it all out. You will enjoy ducking all your non-shooting friends and partners, most of whom are soon to be gone, shooting is a good way to test for stayers, to get just a little more time at the range. Shooting is a bit like golf in this way, actually. It's fun planning carefully, while nobody is looking, how you can get to just one more dingy range in a far off corner of the land. Watching conversations with your non-shooting friends suddenly go silent as their minds try desperately to decide just what in the h*ll your talking about is another pleasure. (You will notice with some of them, providing you look closely enough, that they are afraid they actually might have some idea what you are talking about, and are disturbed by what it is.). Another great experience is returning to consciousness after thinking about some current loading problem and realizing that you are at the supper table and everyone is staring at you because they have been talking to you and you haven't answered for half an hour. Working overtime and on weekends to buy just one more box of shells is fun. You will remember with fondness the time you made the inevitable decision to load your own, too. When you finally decided that factory loads couldn't possibly be as good as the reloads for your rifle and it would be be less expensive. You will experience even more poignant memories of this time as you recall gasping in wonder while a whole new world opened to you and the money kept pouring out. (Save money my a*s! Looking at your bank account is always a way to experience intense emotion in this game.) Sneaking peaks at glossy shooting magazines describing the latest minx to arrive on the scene, while in the bathroom and hiding from those closest to you, is great fun. Another sneak is casually visiting the local gunshop while in town on house related matters, but this is too painful to reveal right now. It ranks right up there with the pain involved in dealing with guys flogging their current paramour so they can buy another. I'm currently considering a new barrel, with the accompanying rechambering that goes with it, and trying to stretch for a second hand light varmint rig to start another addiction. You will be doing this yourself soon. In fact, just as you get one rifle working you will sell it to get another. Go figure... Jeez, my wife is coming up the stairs while I'm typing this!

) Meeting people in strange and forbidden places who previously were complete strangers to you is a wonderful new experience. You will truly enjoy the instantaneous rapport and engaging in long, low voiced, intense conversations. Volume goes up as your hearing goes down over the years, and this leads to a whole other set of great experiences. You will enjoy leaving these conversations depleted, with little idea of what was said, and with a background of guilt because of what time it is. Getting freely given advice that actually does help sometimes, from people who are just as helpless in their addiction as you are in yours ranks up there with the positives somewhere. The bursts of hope as something clicks and some rounds touch at the target end and you really can justify measuring the outside of the group and subtracting the caliber to get the center to center group size is a peak experience. A peak experience that is eclipsed by the upwelling of rage, disappointment and sadness that inevitaby occurs as your honey quits on you and the groups open up. What follows is an inevitable frantic struggle to regain control that has its own pleasureable aspects. (Rage can come from a change in conditions too and, paradoxically, may even be more intense than equipment problems. After all, you can always buy new equipment.) Another enjoyable emotion that is often ignored is the complete jealousy and envy you feel as the guy next to you plunks shot after shot into the 10 ring while your @#!!!***&&&& rifle doesn't do sh*t. These feelings are accompanied by a deep sense of shame that is good for personal development, as you realize what a poor sport you're being and how you should be better than that. (The shame happens also as others, who invariably have shot better scores, ask you how things went, or watch you post your score, but it has a different flavour to it. It can come as these hypocrites express their phony commiseration with your bad result too, the #@@%%#$##) Yup, kid just keep going in the direction you are going! It's good for human relations. All the rest of us here are going the same route and you can see how we are turning out

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