Wiped ass with birchbark...hoop still sore...

[Boonie Boy]

Headed out for whitetail this morning and didn't have even a scrap of teepee with me...inevitable - as soon as I got to my spot, I had to dump. It was either crunchy frozen oak leaves or strips of birchbark...I'll never complain about the sandpaper we have for toilet paper at work again...

 

[kamlooky]

Dear lawrd........
Don't you wear a t-shirt?
You must pack a hunting knife?
Get creative.
I would be willing to bet that squirrel bit yer arse.
That'll teach ya........

 

[Nipigon Jack]

Nice Thread. LOL
I promise to stop laughing some time soon.
Ask your hunting buddy if he'll kiss it better for you

 

[Nipigon Jack]

Nice Thread. LOL
I promise to stop laughing some time soon.
Ask your hunting buddy if he'll kiss it better for you

And if he does, find a new hunting buddy !!!

 

[OneBarfly]

Oak Leaves were surprisingly effective the last time I had an emergency. Pine cones not so much

 

[horseshoe]

Use your undies and go commando for the rest of the day....been there. Done that.

 

[fiddler]

T-shirts are cheap, Man. You get them free every time you buy beer. Don't cause yourself such pain.

 

[Joe549]

Oak Leaves were surprisingly effective the last time I had an emergency. Pine cones not so much

You need the right pine cone and know how to use it effectively. They do scoop very nicely for those rather thick messy dumps...

 

[geologist]

There is a reason why in certain parts of the world it is considered a deadly offense to reach for the communal food on the table with your left hand.

 

[Masonmaster]

You need the right pine cone and know how to use it effectively. They do scoop very nicely for those rather thick messy dumps...

Why am I still laughing...I'll admit to corn leaves, not so nice. One wool sock Steve Harvey, and the family feud begins.

 

[Kelly Timoffee]

This thread will separate the men from the boys.

In my back pack that goes with me everywhere hunting and is more important than my rifle there is a Ziploc bag with a nice fluffy roll of Charmin.

Silly kids, you'll get your priorities figured out!!

 

[AWOL]

I use rabbits...

 

[memaquay]

Snowshoeing about four years ago, around - 30, had a **** attack, didn't want to use any clothes, tried birch bark. Sheat don't stick to birch bark, it's slippery stuff. Ended up doing a bidet style snow cone....one of the most hostile things I've ever experienced. never forget the TP now.

Another **** story..my buddy was at a winter camp with a bunch of guys. He is renowned for being fearless about anything. He went outside at minus 40 in his snowshoes in the dark for a dump. His buddies heard a blood curdling scream from the bush, and they figured if Mr. Fearless was screaming, it was bad. They ran outside, and there was Mr. Fearless, white faced, doing his pants up. Apparently his black lab had silently snuck around him in the dark and licked his bare rosebud in the middle of the movement. Geeze, what is it with dogs and poop eating?

 

[the spank]

Oak Leaves were surprisingly effective the last time I had an emergency. Pine cones not so much

Yes but pine cones are good for Clingons!! Scrape away Mr. Spock!!

 

[Jesuswon]

wouldnt the deer smell human crap and not come around? i was hunting yesterday and jumped in the truck,drove 2 in down the road and crapped there..(i had a roll of bounty btw

 

[horseshoe]

My experience, deer are not affected by human urine or feces. For some reason they don't associate it with danger like our sweat or breath...

I've had to #2 in the bush, and then walked away. I've come back later and seen deer tracks right up to it as if they were sniffing it...

 

[Kelly Timoffee]

That's because you either had beef barley or slit pea soup!!!

That's baiting!

My experience, deer are not affected by human urine or feces. For some reason they don't associate it with danger like our sweat or breath...

I've had to #2 in the bush, and then walked away. I've come back later and seen deer tracks right up to it as if they were sniffing it...

 

[Thinking]

That's why you wear socks! Two socks, two wipes!

 

[jackenape]

^ Amateur. You can turn them inside out for a bonus 2 wipes.

Damn near first on my packing list is TP. It's inevitable after that strong coffee in the morning that the cramps hit while walking in to the bush.

 

[jables]

I now have a hoodless hoodie