I've got smaller hands and I shoot a Ruger GP100, and it feels great and shoots accurately. When you're shooting .38 wadcutters it's as comfortable as shooting a .22, almost...nothing to it. Now .357 Mag with a heavy bullet and powder load does buck a bit, but if you use a good two handed grip it's nothing that will worry you. The Ruger has a 6" barrel, as it isn't anything that one can hide in any SHTF scenario...it's definitely a big ol' sixgun.
Now I've ordered a .38/.357 Ruger SP-101, it's a sweet looking well proportioned 4.2" barreled SS revolver. Slimmer, lighter, and more petite than the GP100, it's a piece of art. The stock grip felt a bit small, and my pinkie barely fit on the very bottom of the grip...but for $20 from Brownells you can buy a Hogue Monogrip that absorbs energy even better than the stock grip, and is a bit bigger so you can get your hand around it comfortably. For $7 I got the spring kit with 9/10/12 lb hammer springs, and 2 lb lighter-than-stock trigger return spring. From what I've heard and read, the 9lb spring will give you the odd light strike, but if it's not being depended on for protection that's not critical...and I've heard Federal ammo uses a primer that's easier to ignite and eliminates that issue. If you want it dead reliable with all ammo use the 10lb spring, it's just a bit heavier of a double action trigger pull. I think I'll try the 9lb in the GP100 and the 10lb in the SP-101. From triggershims.com, for $23, you can get shims to make your hammer and trigger operate perfectly smoothly with no play, and even eliminate the tiny bit of play in the cylinder. A video on the site shows you how to install the springs and shims. So if you're willing to spend some small money and a bit of your time, you can make your Ruger function a bit nicer than a S&W for a lot less money. So, the bottom line is the GP100 is hefty, very accurate, and shoots .38s softly enough for a little girl to shoot...great range gun. The SP-101 has artistically nicer proportions, is more concealable in a SHTF scenario, is still tame with .38s but not quite as tame as the GP100, and is a handful with .357 ammo. In the US a lot of folks load it with .38+P instead of .357 for concealed carry because it's easier to shoot accurately, to give you an idea of what I mean by a "handful". With .38 wadcutters it's also an accurate revolver, but requires more practice than the GP100 to be a tackdriver...then again it's a 4.2" barrel and my GP100 is a 6"...so that explains part of that as well. The extra weight of the GP100 helps accuracy too... Hope this helps!