perhaps just avoid dirty wars all together?
War, in general, is dirty. Do you mean we should avoid all war, period?
Are you of the opinion that we should have not fought in WWII because it was "dirty"? After all, we did fire bomb many a German city, and killed far more civilians in a typical day than we have killed cumulatively in every war since then.
Fighting a uniformed army and fighting an insurgency are two very different things. To compare them is just absurd.
You claim that it's absurd to compare Islamic terrorists with German Nazi's or Japanese Fascists, yet overlook all the similarities that these groups share.
Totalitarian and supremacist ideology: Check.
Desire to destroy us: Check.
Disregard outdated conventions that we continue to adhere to: Check.
Use every weapon and tactic available to them: Check.
Fight to the death: Check.
This obsession with whether an opponent wears matching uniforms and has a formal rank structure is what's absurd.
The principles of combat, human psychology, tactics and strategy do not change depending on whether your uniforms all look alike.
Crushing, demoralizing and humiliating the enemy works, no matter which way you slice it.
Until you figure out the difference between fighting a War and an Insurgency you will be wrong. Kind of like when trying to fight an insurgency by fighting a war you will always lose.
Until you figure out that you are drawing a false distinction, we will continue to lose soldiers' lives in a futile attempt at fighting a war a "perfect" war.
The reason we have been losing the war for the past 12 years is that we have been trying to approach it like it's some special case.
"Winning" hearts and minds, rebuilding infrastructure (that the enemy will use against us), bending over backwards to avoid "civilian" casualties (the quotation marks are there because many of those supposed civilians are actually combatants), imposing suicidal ROEs on our troops and appeasing the enemy are exactly what has been the problem.
An insurgency is still a subset of war. It may not be state vs. state, but the underlying principles are still the same.