Then you all know wrong. The case to make the steel is softer than the steel used to make the extractor. The only way to damage a grade of steel with another grade of steel is if it is harder. Case steel is always softer than extractor steel. It has to be in order for it to be shaped. Some extractors are mim, some are cast, and I am pretty sure some cnc billet extractors also exist, the grade(I have yet to see otherwise) of steel for extractor has always been of a harder material than case steel.
The problem with steel cased ammo (exception to some premium stuff like hornady match steel) is that it's usually built on the cheap side and utilizes the cheapest possible bullets, mostly bimetal, and like you said that type of bullet is harder on your barrel. IIRC there was a company that did a torture test with 3 steel cased ammo and 1 brass cased, I will post the link when I find it, the biggest problem with steel cased ammo and its cheaper bimetal bullet will burn through the barrel faster.