Lets keep this thread just to calibers..
--matt
I'm sorry but what you want to do has less to do with the cartridge choice and more to do with bullet choice and the guy behind the gun. Anything from a .223 to a 50 BMG will kill a deer at 500 yards. You just need to decide how much energy you want to deliver. Remember all thing being the same with the muzzle energy/gun weight/muzzle brake etc... the cartridge has nothing to do with recoil.
If you want a calibre that does what your asking why not decide exactly how much energy
you feel it takes to kill a deer and a moose. Then use a reloading manual to make a list of cartridges that maintain the energy you require at the distances you want.
Have your better half pick one off the list cause it makes no difference how the bullet gets there just as long as you have the mass and velocity to give you the energy you require when it does get there. Remember the deer or moose does not care what cartridge you use to send the bullet, only how hard that bullet hits.
From there work up a load with a good hunting bullet to maintain MOA out to 500 yards. The bullet you use is more important than the cartridge if you are delivering the same energy. Under 500 yards a good bullet needs to retain mass while opening up upon impact at high velocity. Past 500 yards is a whole new ball game with high B.C. bullets that need to open up at lower velocities.
Most important thing you need to do though is practice out to 500 yards and not just once off the bench. I mean put up a piece of paper and then walk to what you think is 500 yards, or range it if you have a LRF that you plan to hunt with. Take one shot, if you can hit it 90% of the time, you are doing better than most.
If you don't hit it 90% of the time, I hope you are a good tracker. Either that or get the 50cal like suggested.
If all this makes no sense then I'd just get a 30-06 like every one else. There is a reason it's the most popular choice out there.
Just another 2 cents.
Dave