well im going crazey indoors as ive been stuck in bed with a chest cold and started to look for any deer hunt stories here r a few i found
Wounded Hunter...
Three Yoopers went hunting in a remote forest in central Marquette county. As one of them was crossing a fallen log, he tripped, dropped his rifle and shot himself. The other two ran quickly to their unconscious friend and saw that his chest was covered with blood. Walt turned to Stan and said, "We gotta get Elmer to da hospital quick or he's gonna die." "How 'er we gonna carry 'em?" Stan asked. "Why Elmer, he weighs a good two hunnert pounds." "Hell Stan! That ain't nuttin'," assured Walt. "We carry bucks out bigge 'n 'at, all da time. We kin do it da same way." Walt was right. In no time, they were pulling their 4x4 up to the emergency room door, and doctors, nurses and orderlies rushed Elmer inside. A while later, one of the doctors gave the two worried friends the bad news, "Your friend didn't make it." Walt said, "Yeah, I thought dat gunshot hit 'em in da heart." "No," said the doctor. "The bullet actually went above the heart and through the shoulder. His chest was only covered with blood, but he might have been able to survive that." "Damn-it Stan! I told ya we shouldn't a tied 'em to da hood. All dem tree branches smackin' into 'em for da first five miles probably beat 'em to death!" "No," said the doctor. "His clothes were ripped to shreds and his body was covered with lacerations, but he might have been able to survive that, too." "See, Walt! I kept tellin' ya to hold your end up higher 'cause dat sapling was too thin. When we tied his hands and legs to it, his head kept hittin' da rocks and logs. An' I'm sure he drowned when we crossed dat crick." "Sh** Stan! You was da one dat dropped your end of the pole when you fell off dat rock. Poor old Elmer musta been unner water a whole minute while you was fumbling around with that pole an' fallin' all over yaself." "Now fellas," said the doctor. "Elmer's skull was cracked and he did have massive head injuries. But he didn't drown, and he might have been able to survive that, too." Stan and Walt looked at each other with puzzled expressions, then asked the doctor, "Den what wuz it?" The doctor thought for a few moments and said, "My guess is that the way they gutted it had a lot to do with it."
*
Missing Mother-in-law...
A man took *his wife and his mother-in-law to his U.P. deer camp and during the first night, the wife woke*up to find her mother missing. *She immediately woke up her husband and demanded that he go out looking for her. He grabbed his rifle and after loading it, they both went outside to search for her. As soon as they exited the camp, a loud ruckus was heard a short distance away. Rushing towards the noise, they discovered that a huge bear was facing off with the mother-in-law. The wife then said, "What are we going to do?" *"Nothing," replied her husband, "The bear got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Another Spud...
Three dudes from south/eastern Michigan loved to fish, so they wanted to try ice fishing since they had heard so many good things about the winter activity. *Since the ice was poor in southern Michigan, the three amigos headed north, across the Big Mac bridge to the land of Yoopers. *When they arrived at Little Bay De Noc the ice was frozen thick and solid. *They stopped at Bay Shore Bait and Tackle to buy all the tackle and gear they would need for some ice fishing fun. *Before they left, they remembered that they needed a spud to chop threw the ice and bought one. *About two hours later, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another spud." He sold him the spud and then the city slicker headed back out onto the ice. *In about another*hour, he was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another spud." The bait shop owner couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?" "Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the stupid boat in the water yet."
Wounded Hunter...
Three Yoopers went hunting in a remote forest in central Marquette county. As one of them was crossing a fallen log, he tripped, dropped his rifle and shot himself. The other two ran quickly to their unconscious friend and saw that his chest was covered with blood. Walt turned to Stan and said, "We gotta get Elmer to da hospital quick or he's gonna die." "How 'er we gonna carry 'em?" Stan asked. "Why Elmer, he weighs a good two hunnert pounds." "Hell Stan! That ain't nuttin'," assured Walt. "We carry bucks out bigge 'n 'at, all da time. We kin do it da same way." Walt was right. In no time, they were pulling their 4x4 up to the emergency room door, and doctors, nurses and orderlies rushed Elmer inside. A while later, one of the doctors gave the two worried friends the bad news, "Your friend didn't make it." Walt said, "Yeah, I thought dat gunshot hit 'em in da heart." "No," said the doctor. "The bullet actually went above the heart and through the shoulder. His chest was only covered with blood, but he might have been able to survive that." "Damn-it Stan! I told ya we shouldn't a tied 'em to da hood. All dem tree branches smackin' into 'em for da first five miles probably beat 'em to death!" "No," said the doctor. "His clothes were ripped to shreds and his body was covered with lacerations, but he might have been able to survive that, too." "See, Walt! I kept tellin' ya to hold your end up higher 'cause dat sapling was too thin. When we tied his hands and legs to it, his head kept hittin' da rocks and logs. An' I'm sure he drowned when we crossed dat crick." "Sh** Stan! You was da one dat dropped your end of the pole when you fell off dat rock. Poor old Elmer musta been unner water a whole minute while you was fumbling around with that pole an' fallin' all over yaself." "Now fellas," said the doctor. "Elmer's skull was cracked and he did have massive head injuries. But he didn't drown, and he might have been able to survive that, too." Stan and Walt looked at each other with puzzled expressions, then asked the doctor, "Den what wuz it?" The doctor thought for a few moments and said, "My guess is that the way they gutted it had a lot to do with it."
*
Missing Mother-in-law...
A man took *his wife and his mother-in-law to his U.P. deer camp and during the first night, the wife woke*up to find her mother missing. *She immediately woke up her husband and demanded that he go out looking for her. He grabbed his rifle and after loading it, they both went outside to search for her. As soon as they exited the camp, a loud ruckus was heard a short distance away. Rushing towards the noise, they discovered that a huge bear was facing off with the mother-in-law. The wife then said, "What are we going to do?" *"Nothing," replied her husband, "The bear got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Another Spud...
Three dudes from south/eastern Michigan loved to fish, so they wanted to try ice fishing since they had heard so many good things about the winter activity. *Since the ice was poor in southern Michigan, the three amigos headed north, across the Big Mac bridge to the land of Yoopers. *When they arrived at Little Bay De Noc the ice was frozen thick and solid. *They stopped at Bay Shore Bait and Tackle to buy all the tackle and gear they would need for some ice fishing fun. *Before they left, they remembered that they needed a spud to chop threw the ice and bought one. *About two hours later, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another spud." He sold him the spud and then the city slicker headed back out onto the ice. *In about another*hour, he was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another spud." The bait shop owner couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?" "Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the stupid boat in the water yet."
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