Dumbass hunting stories...

Keebler750

Keebler750

CGN Ultra frequent flyer
Rating - 100%
8   0   0
Location
Alberta!!!
OK. I'll start.

I went out for the evening deer hunt. Gun was still bagged from the night before (a gun sock). Took the sock off, put it in the backpack, looked at the gun...

Oh, yeah. I put a trigger lock on it. No problem, I'll just find......the.......um.........key..........

Arrrrrghhhh! No key!!

Home is a long ways, the hunt will be ruined if I waste the time. I could just tell the boys I didn't see any deer and no one will be the wiser...ya, that's it!!!

Luckily, I had a really heavy duty BUCK Strider with a 4" super thick tanto blade. Broke the lock to rat sh@t. Good to go.

Except I STILL never saw any deer.

Next story:
 
Bowhunting elk this fall, chased a herd about 12 miles, and ended the chase when they went up the same ridge I was camped on. Got up the next morning, ready to head out. Since the big bull had been bugling at me non stop the previous day, Idecided to try to locate him before I started walking blindly. After a couple of bugles, and no answer, I decide to answer natures call before heading out.
Comfortably sat on a log enjoying nature, and what do I spy but two cow elk wandering by me 60 yards away. Of course my bow was not within reach, and I was not in any position to suddenly jump up.
Somehow they winded me and bolted before the rest of the herd came by.
Never saw them again.
 
Years ago I was on a deer stand at my Uncles camp. Comfortably sitting on the ground leaned against a tree...rustle.........rustle....rustle..RUSTLE RUSTLE! Two does run up the side of the low ridge I was on, then angled behind me and ran past through the sparse patch of birch where I was about 20 feet behind me :(
Couldn't turn or twist while camped on my ass, and to try rolling onto my belly for a fast prone shot only invited rolling off the edge of the ridge I was on. Needless to say after that I ALWAYS stood at my stand from then on.

Edit....Hey Keebler, I flew from Edmonton back to Ottawa to visit family. Transported my .44 magnum and .45 1911 via air. My brother drove us to the range hes a member at about an hour out of Ottawa. We get to the range...discover I left not only the trigger lock keys on the table back at his house, but the key to the guncase padlock too!! AAAGGGGHHH!!!!
I flirted with the idea of my brother shooting the lock off the case. We just went back the following weekend. Duhhh
 
Last edited:
Missed the first two weeks of deer season one year and got to the stand on the Monday aft of the third week. The rut was in high gear and there was primary scraps & rubs right in the vicinity. It was mid afternoon so I decided to strenghten the tree ladder rungs a bit before prime time and starting whacking away with a hammer I had stored. What i didn't know was that I was in actual fact rattling in the big alpha 5x5 who was making all the sign. Did you ever have the feeling somebody was watching you? Yup standing backasswards on the third rung of the ladder, gun tucked somewhere below and Mr. Buck standing 20 feet behind .... not an effin chance to get out of that mess up. Poured and rained the rest of the week and never saw him again.:(
 
Went through the bow and arrow hunting a long time ago. Three of us walked three miles to get to a little lake. Good moose area, no hunters. We three archers spread out around the little lake to wait for the moose to come and feed. I had a bottle of beer in my pack, to drink when we were through. Warm fall afternoon, a little early in the afternoon yet for moose, I'm thirsty, so drink the beer. Still too early, might as well rest, so I laid down. Next thing I know I am awakened by some noisy walker coming to me. Open eyes, and there are four black legs going past me and they are all of six feet away. I reach for my bow, then an arrow, when I realize the "bow" I grabbed was my empty beer bottle!!!
 
Put rifle in back of truck and laid back against a tree for a snooze. Awake to see deer standing between me and the truck.

Deep, deep snow. Too deep to carry the rifle through. Lean rifle against tree and wade through snow to look over a ridge. What do I see of course, but deer.

Morale of the story, during hunting season become inseparable from your rifle.
 
Hunting with a buddy and his wife, she is after a cow moose. We push a chunk of bush and she misses her cow. We then push the chunk it went into back to her. Tell her to stand at a crossroads and look both direections to see if it crosses and jump into the bush. We come out and she is standing there obviously excited, but with no rifle. When asking for an explanation, she told us that the moose had near run her over. Why no shots, the rifle was in the truck, where she had left it. Harrasment ensued for the remainder of the day.
 
A buddy and I were out shooting ducks. We came to one of my spots, and I said "I'm going to sneak up there and try to jump them"

He waited back, I snuck as sneaky as could be. I got to the water, jumped out yelling "Hah! but they didn't move. Laughter erupted from the cattails, and those damned decoy's sure looked real. :p
 
I took a friend moose hunting and we dropped a bull moose. He decides to use his new hatchet to remove the antlers. I tell him "that's not a good idea"......

So he tries anyways and his new shiny expensive hatchet now looks like it has a serrated blade. I laughed off and on for hours after that.
 
A bullet didnt chamber for me. (I didnt trim the case length on a reload:runaway:) put the rifle up to shoot a nice white tail and all I heard was click. worked the action, got a shot off but missed. deer run pretty fast through poplar trees.
 
pharaoh2 said:
A buddy and I were out shooting ducks. We came to one of my spots, and I said "I'm going to sneak up there and try to jump them"

He waited back, I snuck as sneaky as could be. I got to the water, jumped out yelling "Hah! but they didn't move. Laughter erupted from the cattails, and those damned decoy's sure looked real. :p
Click to expand...

now I dont care who you are, thats funny right there!
 
We were hunting grouse all morning and decided to take a break for lunch. We picked a nice spot and unload the guns and lay down the gear. As we were sitting down two birds blast out of the bush not 25 feet away and fly down into the ravine. I decided to go after them to see if I could get them to jump again. Breaking through brambles, raspberry canes, thorn bushes, rock piles, etc...I get the pair to fly again. Up comes the gun, nice swing, pull the trigger and click...I forgot to load any shells.
 
We're hunting elk and watching a logging slash from the truck waiting for the herd we saw that morning to re-emerge from the trees.

Bored, I get out and pluck two grouse at the edge of the uncut trees behind the truck. My buddy reminds me to take my rifle.

Plucking the grouse, I hear "snap, crack," look up and see a giant bull elk walking right towards me. I carefully put the grouse down, lift rifle, get ready, then Mr. bull elk pokes his head around a tree 3 yards away. He's so close I can see how big and red his eyes are. His 6x7 rack sweeps up like a rocking chair. I lift the rifle and look through the scope and all I see is out of focus brown fuzz.

I pull the trigger, knowing I gotta hit him anyway jerking the whole gun in anticipation and excitement.

Safety's on.

Alarmed at the sudden movement, he bounds away, leaping over crossways logs up to his chest on the way.

Even at a thousand pounds, they're as agile as a cat.
 
Last edited:
Rushed out for an evening duck hunt last Saturday... everything was perfect, good wind, tides just right, it was going to be an awesome hunt. Left the ####ing guns at home! Sped home, grabbed the guns, went somewhere closer, no birds.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom