This is true and it applies to all facets of life. Sometimes we all make assumptions on both sides regarding a person new to doing something. I think we all mean well, but definitely it is to our advantage to let the person new to the activity (I hate using the term "sport" when referring to shooting, just as much as I disdain "hobby") feel out different options at their comfort level, with some guidance from us, but overall no pressure or prescription on what we think they may need.
I always try to insert a golf illustration where possible, and this would serve as a good parallel...
I once was an avid golfer, participating in corporate tournaments and hitting the links whenever I could (this was before kids when I had a bit more disposable income - now, I will have to just settle on PGA Tour 2K21 on my kids' PS4). Anyways one year I took two different colleagues out on weekend golfing outings. One was a bit younger than me but fit and buff. The other one was short and scrawny, but much older than me (I guess I now their age back then). Anyways, this has always stuck with me...
I naturally assumed the younger and more muscular guy would enjoy the 18 hole full course with long par 5s and required a golf cart, though being on the younger side, we did forego the golf cart and hoofed it the whole way. I was expecting this guy to have long drives, powerful approach shots and would enjoy the power game given his upper body strength (he did weights and stuff). Surprisingly he did not enjoy the long holes, found his clubs (especially the driver) difficult to use and quite liked the par 3s, with just a pitching wedge or 9 iron to tee off. He did not like the golf outing much though I took him again a year later to an executive 9 hole par 3 (for the most part) and he loved the short distance and the short game. Who would have thunk it eh?
Conversely, I took the older gent to the executive course par 3 at first, thinking given his Mr. Burns from the Simpsons physique and how frail he looked, that course may be a stretch. To my utter surprise, he birdied almost every hole, and on the "par 4" (only 255 yards), he got it on the green in one shot (I think I must have taken 7, including a drop). He got bored fast and was on his Blackberry (yes it was that long ago) after the third hole inbetween my shots. A few months later, I took him to a full 18 hole course and holy cow, he outdrove me (not hard) by a lot. And his clubs were not high end clubs. Thinking maybe his clubs have him some magic skills, I asked if I can play a few holes with his clubs. I did, and it didn't help my game. He said he didn't expect it to since I wasn't fitted. I asked "what do you mean by fitted?" He said for his clubs, he actually got a golf pro to help him with finding the right clubs, length and weight wise based on analyzing his swing, degree of experience, stances, and whatever else. He told me one size does not fit all and even if it fits someone like him, you can give the same clubs to someone who is the same size and weight and they would play differently with them, sometimes considerably so.
So ultimately I think while we can discuss what's a good starter shotgun for recoil for this and that person, ultimately only that person will be able to tell based on them trying it. And as we can see by the feedback of different people, the results may vary widely.