the flame-cutting is in fact the effect of sandblasting with unburnt powder.
it looks like this: http://1.bp.########.com/_XCkTSf0swcQ/R2TL4K22l3I/AAAAAAAABEQ/yrD-yJzo4Vk/s1600-h/flamecutting.jpg
or this: http://pages.sbcglobal.net/eickpm/flame_cut1.jpg
Heavier bullets generate higher initial pressure which is conducive to better powder combustion.
Conversely lighter ones cause more partially burnt particles to blow through the cylinder gap and erode the strap. The associated higher powder loads aren't helping either.
You could use a faster powder with 125gr bullets
Soooo many theories! Nothing like shooting in general and reloading, in particular, to produce no end of theories, most of which can't be proven.
Anything that hits the strap, has to escape between cylinder and forcing cone. There is a great variation in revolvers, even from the factory, in the gap between cylinder and forcing cone. Result, wide gap, more burning on the strap. I doubt if the great majority of revolver owners bother to measure the gap. If their strap is cutting, presto, it's because of the bullet/the powder/the primer or anything except the real reason, wide gap.
In the real world, heat cutting of the strap is not a great deal. Many 357 or 44 mag revolvers have been shot a tremendous number of times, and strap is still good.
A 125 grain bullet cutting the strap worse than a 158 grain, is one of the weakest theories I have ever heard.
It seems to be accepted theory that it is unburned powder that burns the strap. A good revolver has a gap in the order of .005". Please explain how powder could be reduced in size to get through that narrow gap, and still be unburned.
Hot burning gases erodes the throat of a rifle barrel and hot burning gases erode a strap on a revolver.
Use whatever powder and bullet you like, and shoot your gun.
I get the impression that great numbers of handloaders out there spend so much time worrying about some new theory they've just read, that they can't enjoy shooting.