what works for me
1. always hold the gun tight in your shoulder pocket.. a bit of downward pressure on the foreend if needed
2, if on a bench, use PAST, lead sleds, etc benchrest shooting is the most tiring for recoil
3. roll with the shot.
4. shoot offhand, kneeling etc - you'll learn a lot more in the process too.
5. shoot lots. to me 90% of recoil is in the anticipation -fear of the unknown
6. for pistol gripped Shotguns, pull forward on the foreend, back on the pistol grip, extend your arms at shoulder level. I shot slugs in my SMD 12 and 14" *870 with Breacher's grip that way- no issues.
finally, recoil seemsto have nothing to do with physical size.