I'm Going to Spear Me a Bear Tonight
- Thread starter Salty
- Start date
Since I'm pretty sure tormenting bears is illegal (damn near everything that's fun is, so that must be too), we'll just say that I knew the guys who did this...
..and I was kinda there...
Anyway, once upon a time in a seismic camp north of Rainbow Lake there were way too many bears, and they were coming into camp all the time...several every day.
So...somebody dragged a sheet of expanded steel over by the light plant shack, and fetched a steak out of the kitchen. A good stout 220 volt power cord was rigged, with one wire soldered to the expanded steel, and the other to a 10" spike, which was then threaded through the steak. A couple of mischief makers then sat patiently in the generator shack, for all of about 10 minutes until victim #1 showed up ...and walked onto the expanded steel, and picked up the steak. And got lit up.
I swear, that bear doubled in size in about 1/10 of a second...his hair stood straight on end, and while he bellered through his clenched teeth, he blew a streak of #### about 30 feet across that campsite!
Of course, the perps unplugged him after about 1 second of that, and he shook himself, and went right back to his normal size.....and glared at that steak like it was possessed. But he couldn't help himself. First he'd poke at it, and growl...then he'd push it back and forth a few inches, and growl at it....after a dozen pokes, he just had to grab it with his mouth again. You guessed it.... ..the poor bastard. He got it again. And blew another streak of ####. And puffed up real big for a second. The hell of it was, when the juice was on he couldn't let go no matter what, so you'd have to be careful to not give him too much - it probably would have
killed the poor bugger.
I swear, that bear never did learn. We...uh...THEY had to quit finally, because of bellyaches from laughing so hard. I suppose there was a half dozen or more bears got zapped that summer, and not a damn one ever had brains enough to go away and not come back.
Some day, if the statute of limitations ever runs out, I'll have to tell you about the dynamite-in-the-jam-can trick...... ...it's way nasty.
..and I was kinda there... Anyway, once upon a time in a seismic camp north of Rainbow Lake there were way too many bears, and they were coming into camp all the time...several every day.
So...somebody dragged a sheet of expanded steel over by the light plant shack, and fetched a steak out of the kitchen. A good stout 220 volt power cord was rigged, with one wire soldered to the expanded steel, and the other to a 10" spike, which was then threaded through the steak. A couple of mischief makers then sat patiently in the generator shack, for all of about 10 minutes until victim #1 showed up ...and walked onto the expanded steel, and picked up the steak. And got lit up.
I swear, that bear doubled in size in about 1/10 of a second...his hair stood straight on end, and while he bellered through his clenched teeth, he blew a streak of #### about 30 feet across that campsite!
Of course, the perps unplugged him after about 1 second of that, and he shook himself, and went right back to his normal size.....and glared at that steak like it was possessed. But he couldn't help himself. First he'd poke at it, and growl...then he'd push it back and forth a few inches, and growl at it....after a dozen pokes, he just had to grab it with his mouth again. You guessed it....
..the poor bastard. He got it again. And blew another streak of ####. And puffed up real big for a second. The hell of it was, when the juice was on he couldn't let go no matter what, so you'd have to be careful to not give him too much - it probably would havekilled the poor bugger.
I swear, that bear never did learn. We...uh...THEY had to quit finally, because of bellyaches from laughing so hard. I suppose there was a half dozen or more bears got zapped that summer, and not a damn one ever had brains enough to go away and not come back.
Some day, if the statute of limitations ever runs out, I'll have to tell you about the dynamite-in-the-jam-can trick......
...it's way nasty.Tumbleweed said:Since I'm pretty sure tormenting bears is illegal (damn near everything that's fun is, so that must be too), we'll just say that I knew the guys who did this...
Anyway, once upon a time in a seismic camp north of Rainbow Lake there were way too many bears, and they were coming into camp all the time...several every day.
So...somebody dragged a sheet of expanded steel over by the light plant shack, and fetched a steak out of the kitchen. A good stout 220 volt power cord was rigged, with one wire soldered to the expanded steel, and the other to a 10" spike, which was then threaded through the steak. A couple of mischief makers then sat patiently in the generator shack, for all of about 10 minutes until victim #1 showed up ...and walked onto the expanded steel, and picked up the steak. And got lit up.
I swear, that bear doubled in size in about 1/10 of a second...his hair stood straight on end, and while he bellered through his clenched teeth, he blew a streak of s**t about 30 feet across that campsite!
Of course, the perps unplugged him after about 1 second of that, and he shook himself, and went right back to his normal size.....and glared at that steak like it was possessed. But he couldn't help himself. First he'd poke at it, and growl...then he'd push it back and forth a few inches, and growl at it....after a dozen pokes, he just had to grab it with his mouth again. You guessed it....
killed the poor bugger.
I swear, that bear never did learn. We...uh...THEY had to quit finally, because of bellyaches from laughing so hard. I suppose there was a half dozen or more bears got zapped that summer, and not a damn one ever had brains enough to go away and not come back.
Some day, if the statute of limitations ever runs out, I'll have to tell you about the dynamite-in-the-jam-can trick......
Kinda reminds me of a buddy of mine who once wired one of those metal garbage cans with a spare truck's spark plug coil to keep the 'coons away ... it worked ...
- Location
- southern ontario
what about a potatoe canon, hehe.
Or would that be baiting
Or would that be baiting
Here on the left coast our winters are usually mild enough that some years the bears don't hibernate at all or if they do it is only for a couple of weeks. There usually enough food to keep them going.
Has anyone tried putting caspian pepper in the bird food.
I have seen bird food marked squirle proof because they put the pepper in it and squirells won't eat it but the birds still will.
I have heard that in Alaska the grizzlies love the taste of bear spray when it has been sprayed on stuff.
Has anyone tried putting caspian pepper in the bird food.
I have seen bird food marked squirle proof because they put the pepper in it and squirells won't eat it but the birds still will.
I have heard that in Alaska the grizzlies love the taste of bear spray when it has been sprayed on stuff.
Just take an extension cord cut back the ends about six inches and wrap bacon around each end,set outside and wait for cub to return.
When you see him snack out plug in cord(it will trip your breaker)and his too!
You just unplug cord and reset breakers,he won't be back soon.
Just the cord left there should be enough to make him not return.
If that doesn't work let him get another year older,then sing him the ballard of Dan Boone(Killed a bar when he was three)!
That should work!
Bob
When you see him snack out plug in cord(it will trip your breaker)and his too!
You just unplug cord and reset breakers,he won't be back soon.
Just the cord left there should be enough to make him not return.
If that doesn't work let him get another year older,then sing him the ballard of Dan Boone(Killed a bar when he was three)!
That should work!
Bob
