Here is a few pictures of a few birds taken earlier in the season.
Above:
While on a nice sunny walk near a pond, I was mugged by the two teal pictured right. They said "Hey, give us your wallet. Quack Quack". After a brief struggle, I dispatched both birds in self-defense, fearing for my life. I shot the grouse on the way back to the truck because it is delicious.
Above:
Mr. Mallard sat beside me while on the city bus. He asked me for a dollar eighty five, but I had no change. Upon hearing this, he became quite agitated. "Quackity Quack Quack" he said. I don't stand to be quacked at in such a tone so I contacted the 'Migratory Bird Police Service'. They arrived, and while placing Mr. Mallard under arrest he attempted to fly away, presumably South. I was promptly deputized, and was asked to down Mr. Mallard by any means necessary. Rather than give medical treatment, I broke his neck and roasted him with potatoes and rice.
Above:
Mr. Bufflehead had a rough night. Mrs. Bufflehead left and took all of the buffle-ducklings, along with the nest and their life-savings. After hitting rock bottom, Mr. Bufflehead was featured on the hit series "intervention" for alcoholism. After a stint in rehab, he was released into society. The current status of Mr. Bufflehead has been determined to be plucked, and in my freezer.
Above:
Unlike the other birds featured in this photo album, Mother Goose has no humorous back story. I simply shot her, with a gun, in the face. Before her death, she asked PETA to be contacted to file a complaint with myself, the hunter. Rather than allow those terrorists to be contacted, I broke her neck. She was marinated similar to a steak and done on the barbecue. Served with roasted potatoes, she made quite the delicious meal.
Above:
The story of these four green-winged teal can not currently be published as the publication ban has not been lifted. It is currently still under investigation. Although Wikileaks has reported that they may have been involved in some sort of duck-trafficking ring. The Migratory Bird Police Service refuses to comment on whether an arrest has been made.
#### you PETA. #### you.
Before the hunting forum Gestapo starts to comment. That bottle of Coors was found near my blind. Who drinks Coors anyways? And yes, I packed it out with me.
Above:
While on a nice sunny walk near a pond, I was mugged by the two teal pictured right. They said "Hey, give us your wallet. Quack Quack". After a brief struggle, I dispatched both birds in self-defense, fearing for my life. I shot the grouse on the way back to the truck because it is delicious.
Above:
Mr. Mallard sat beside me while on the city bus. He asked me for a dollar eighty five, but I had no change. Upon hearing this, he became quite agitated. "Quackity Quack Quack" he said. I don't stand to be quacked at in such a tone so I contacted the 'Migratory Bird Police Service'. They arrived, and while placing Mr. Mallard under arrest he attempted to fly away, presumably South. I was promptly deputized, and was asked to down Mr. Mallard by any means necessary. Rather than give medical treatment, I broke his neck and roasted him with potatoes and rice.
Above:
Mr. Bufflehead had a rough night. Mrs. Bufflehead left and took all of the buffle-ducklings, along with the nest and their life-savings. After hitting rock bottom, Mr. Bufflehead was featured on the hit series "intervention" for alcoholism. After a stint in rehab, he was released into society. The current status of Mr. Bufflehead has been determined to be plucked, and in my freezer.
Above:
Unlike the other birds featured in this photo album, Mother Goose has no humorous back story. I simply shot her, with a gun, in the face. Before her death, she asked PETA to be contacted to file a complaint with myself, the hunter. Rather than allow those terrorists to be contacted, I broke her neck. She was marinated similar to a steak and done on the barbecue. Served with roasted potatoes, she made quite the delicious meal.
Above:
The story of these four green-winged teal can not currently be published as the publication ban has not been lifted. It is currently still under investigation. Although Wikileaks has reported that they may have been involved in some sort of duck-trafficking ring. The Migratory Bird Police Service refuses to comment on whether an arrest has been made.
#### you PETA. #### you.
Before the hunting forum Gestapo starts to comment. That bottle of Coors was found near my blind. Who drinks Coors anyways? And yes, I packed it out with me.
