"Check to see if it fits in the chamber" Start with your die in the recommended factory position, back it out 1/8 turn, size case, try in chamber. Repeat in 1/8 turn increments until brass does not chamber... Go to previous setting, record for future use.
Lubing the case and the inside of the neck is essential - try some other type if mica isnt cutting it. Yes - the die should retract without too much force, depending upon calibre. Lack of lubriction inside the neck will give the problems you describe.