Need advice on finding the right rifle.

Yeah, for Haida Gwaii blacktails I would say that a 243, 257 Roberts, 6.5x55, 260 Remington, 7mm-08 or 7x57 are all great choices. I like nostalgia and panache so my choice would lean more toward the eccentric choices - 257 Roberts, 6.5x55 or 7x57. A nice light compact package is what you want for a hunting rifle topped with a compact low-powered scope (Leupold 1-4x, 1.5-5x or fixed 2.5x) and you'll be, as the man says, happy happy happy.

The flinch is another matter entirely. I would echo the others who have said that you should buy a 22LR and shoot it like crazy. That will cure the flinch and only set you back about $25 for all the ammo you'll need.
 
I suggest 25-06, 6.5x55 or 7x57

Along with the already mentioned .243, 6.5x55, 7.62x39, etc, you may also look at a 30-30 or 7mm-08.

As as most have said, practising control with your .22 will work just as well to get rid of a flinch as with a .223
 
You'll get over that flinch faster than you think I bet - you'll then probably want to have a larger caliber for more/other hunting. I'd go with something bigger than .223 for my go to hunting rifle even in your scenario of small deer. It will do the job no doubt, but if you like hunting and want to pursue other bigger game your euchred with a .223. I guess the other option is to buy another rifle after the .223 for your bigger game - which is hardly terrible either!
 
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