Just finished reading a book about the 1st Vdn Parachute Battalion 
, and this was in an appendix to the book.....
....:
The Sten Gun
by Harry William Hughes
1st Canadian Parachute Battalion B44322
Long ago in the isles of Great Britain
Lived a plumber of consummate skill.
Any intricate water conveyance
Out of pipe he could fashion at will.
He continued his ordered existance
Fixing toilet or tub here and there
When smack into Poland marched Hitler,
Beginning a nasty affair.
Now the war, it effected most prices,
And the cost of Scotch rose out of sight;
Then the plumber surveyed his equipment,
And his face lit with smiles of delight.
A great war is not just fought with weapons
There must be strength of purpose and will
And if you only to keep the morale up
The plumber would fashion a still!
When the still was deemed ready for testing,
With the valves and the tubing just right,
He was faced with a grave disappointment,
And a loud blast that shattered the night.
"Eee it's all come to nought" said the plumber
And I'll never sleep safe in me bed
And me neighbours won't be too pleased either
Wi' a weapon like that in my shed.
A weapon! Now that was the answer,
And in no time at all he was done,
And like old Tubal Cane in the Bible,
He had fashioned the first Sten Gun.
Now the gun as might well be expected,
Was made mostly of gas pipe and tin,
With a butt like a Stork's main appendage,
And a Block like an old rolling pin.
The magazine stuck out the West side,
And the trigger was where it should be;
But it gripped without due concentration,
Once could shoot off a finger or three!
The gun was deemed ready for testing,
And the tester too aim straight ahead;
But there weren't many holes in the target,
And the two men behind him were dead.
Now old Winston sat hunched at 10 Downing,
His cigar and his brandy a-reek.
"If we give this 'ere gun to the Germans
The will wipe themselves out in a week."
But the best schemes of man go asunder.
With the bad luck that Chiefs of Staff dread,
Some idiot mixed up the orders,
And we got the weapons instead.
The success of the gun was amazing
When first introduced to the fight,
For the Germans fell screaming and laughing
At such a ridiculous sight!
To round them up but a minute.
They arrived at the prison cage door
And reflected, between their convulsions,
On the strangeness of modern day war.
Now the Generals all wrote their memoirs;
And described each success - and each botch;
But the war - as they never will tell you -
Was won by the high price of Scotch!
EPILOGUE
There was quite a "to-do" at the Palace,
What with trumpets and uniformed men.
When old Alf Winterbottom the plumber
Was created "First Baron of Sten."
, and this was in an appendix to the book.........:The Sten Gun
by Harry William Hughes
1st Canadian Parachute Battalion B44322
Long ago in the isles of Great Britain
Lived a plumber of consummate skill.
Any intricate water conveyance
Out of pipe he could fashion at will.
He continued his ordered existance
Fixing toilet or tub here and there
When smack into Poland marched Hitler,
Beginning a nasty affair.
Now the war, it effected most prices,
And the cost of Scotch rose out of sight;
Then the plumber surveyed his equipment,
And his face lit with smiles of delight.
A great war is not just fought with weapons
There must be strength of purpose and will
And if you only to keep the morale up
The plumber would fashion a still!
When the still was deemed ready for testing,
With the valves and the tubing just right,
He was faced with a grave disappointment,
And a loud blast that shattered the night.
"Eee it's all come to nought" said the plumber
And I'll never sleep safe in me bed
And me neighbours won't be too pleased either
Wi' a weapon like that in my shed.
A weapon! Now that was the answer,
And in no time at all he was done,
And like old Tubal Cane in the Bible,
He had fashioned the first Sten Gun.
Now the gun as might well be expected,
Was made mostly of gas pipe and tin,
With a butt like a Stork's main appendage,
And a Block like an old rolling pin.
The magazine stuck out the West side,
And the trigger was where it should be;
But it gripped without due concentration,
Once could shoot off a finger or three!
The gun was deemed ready for testing,
And the tester too aim straight ahead;
But there weren't many holes in the target,
And the two men behind him were dead.
Now old Winston sat hunched at 10 Downing,
His cigar and his brandy a-reek.
"If we give this 'ere gun to the Germans
The will wipe themselves out in a week."
But the best schemes of man go asunder.
With the bad luck that Chiefs of Staff dread,
Some idiot mixed up the orders,
And we got the weapons instead.
The success of the gun was amazing
When first introduced to the fight,
For the Germans fell screaming and laughing
At such a ridiculous sight!
To round them up but a minute.
They arrived at the prison cage door
And reflected, between their convulsions,
On the strangeness of modern day war.
Now the Generals all wrote their memoirs;
And described each success - and each botch;
But the war - as they never will tell you -
Was won by the high price of Scotch!
EPILOGUE
There was quite a "to-do" at the Palace,
What with trumpets and uniformed men.
When old Alf Winterbottom the plumber
Was created "First Baron of Sten."
