The Musings of a Wolverine. May Edition

As it happens, I went to a private school in Montreal, which in those days also believed in the adage "spare the rod, spoil the child". They don't do those things any more of course, and I doubt the students are better served. It's one of the things that I think are for the worse in society. But I'm getting old and behind the times.
 
All in fun said:
As it happens, I went to a private school in Montreal, which in those days also believed in the adage "spare the rod, spoil the child". They don't do those things any more of course, and I doubt the students are better served. It's one of the things that I think are for the worse in society. But I'm getting old and behind the times.
Click to expand...

Feeling the same way. :) On the other hand, I'm grateful to have grown-up in a pre-internet, pre-cell phone era too. My presence here is evidence I benefit from both...but it's a shame that kids today believe that having this stuff trumps discovering the world your own way, and at your own pace. Heck, even talking to my last girlfriend (who became my wife) on the phone required smooth talking her dad first...and he seemed to always be the guy answering the phone. lol Kids text their way around even simple things like that. We had to "have game" early on. lol
 
Great story. I too grew up at times and in a place where everyone had to make a choice to either stand up for themselves or allow yourselves to be bullied. Everything happened while teachers weren't looking or didn't care to look and telling anyone on what was going on could literally (not figuratively) get a "snitch" beaten to death.

I chose to stand up and never had been bullied after that in my life, despite having changed 2 schools after that (due to us moving). Once you stood up for yourself, you kinda project that onto your surroundings and other people take notice without your having to do or say anything.

As a father to two kids just starting school I'm not sure what to think of the current system.
On the one hand, it does protect those who are weaker and can't stand up to themselves or realize that they truly have no choice. On the other hand it now comes to who tells the teacher first.
Kids still have fights and bullying didn't really go anywhere, but the parties involved now just have no choice but to rush to the teachers and make sure they are first to tell their version of the story to the teacher. Because if they don't, they'll be punished for it regardless of whether they were the bully or the bullied. And if neither tell, then the rest of the class will gladly do that for them.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Fortunately, as of recent, some reasonable voices are heard. I kinda like this guy (especially the part where he explains the difference between bullying and assault/battery. I noticed he changed his message, BTW, he used to say - gather all you've got and fight back with all your might, now he says to "seek help", ha...):
 
Honestly, I don't agree with physical punishment, I think that it's effect is more "don't get caught" then "don't do it again". That said, legal action injected into a part of a kid growing up is a spectacular example of failing to parent. It misses the point, punishes the family and doesn't teach the children anything. Kids are kids, doing stupid things and receiving consequences is part of development, but it seems like people take it too far these days... Just my two cents worth from a know-nothing young fella.
 
Thanks for sharing your story.

We’ve raised a new generation that are weak and, unfortunately, there are hardener people all over the world.

I was bullied as a child, it was unpleasant, and it made me a stronger person as I grew up and I strengthened my body and my resolve. I was able to keep a career that started with bully managers and I persevered and bought a home and a life and times just got better. I got an education even though it was hard. I still fail at things, but you know what? I have the life skills to get over it and move on. I don’t need a participation ribbon.
 
I don't think putting a stop to kids physically and psychologically torturing each other has made us weak. Nor removing corporal punishment from schools.

And the 'harder' people of the world who have many problems of their own, like being alcoholics with a life expectancy of 66 (Russia), or too prideful to listen to western instructors teach them how tanks and planes work (Saudi Arabia). China literally has a version of facebook that's used to track how 'good' of a citizen you are.

Who the #### are we supposed to be afraid of again?
 
Great story - hope it turns out well for your Family.
When our Daughter was in Grade 6 or 7 ( late '80s ) she told me that one of her class mates was bullying her after School.
We talked about it, suggested she talk to the Teacher about it and see what happens.
It continues so I suggested that she tell the young Lady that the next time it happens, give the young Lady a final verbal warning that next time she gets decked.
Daughter was concerned that she would get into trouble at School if she did so I told her to do it off School grounds and if there were any repercussions at School we would back her 100%. Daughter was quite surprised with my response.
A few days later at a Parent / Teacher meeting we expressed our concerns to her Teacher and I told the Teacher exactly what will happen if the bullying doesn't stop. Teacher reacted with shock and dismay "We can't condone that sort of action" and I simply suggested that then the School should deal with the Bully before our Daughter did.
Daughter did the "final warning" and no problems after.
Some times you just have to deal with these things in a practical way.
 
HaliGunian said:
I don't think putting a stop to kids physically and psychologically torturing each other has made us weak. Nor removing corporal punishment from schools.
Click to expand...

You're right and I don't think no one in the right mind would say that everyone needs to go through overcoming bullying in their life just to be a stronger and better person, most do just fine without that experience in their life at all.

However one thing I'm observing the modern anti-bullying methods do is lower a perception of what bullying actually is. It is now getting harder to get people (especially younger ones) to do their job without being called a bully and/or called into a not-so-friendly HR conversation.

Meanwhile, cyberbullying is growing stronger (and will continue to do so with the "Like or share" addiction and emerging points-based social rating systems). So, while physical bullying may be on the decline, it was just replaced by psychological pressure on social networks. If you don't believe it exists - try posting an unpopular opinion on twitter or Facebook, and see what happens.
 
borsch said:
You're right and I don't think no one in the right mind would say that everyone needs to go through overcoming bullying in their life just to be a stronger and better person, most do just fine without that experience in their life at all.

However one thing I'm observing the modern anti-bullying methods do is lower a perception of what bullying actually is. It is now getting harder to get people (especially younger ones) to do their job without being called a bully and/or called into a not-so-friendly HR conversation.

Meanwhile, cyberbullying is growing stronger (and will continue to do so with the "Like or share" addiction and emerging points-based social rating systems). So, while physical bullying may be on the decline, it was just replaced by psychological pressure on social networks. If you don't believe it exists - try posting an unpopular opinion on twitter or Facebook, and see what happens.
Click to expand...

Great points, you're 100% right. The internet has made it easier for coward bullies to practice their trade, and if what I hear is true...the outcomes can be allot worse. I wouldn't be surprised if bullying was worse these days than it was when I was a kid in the 70s. At least back then...if you wanted to be a jerk, you had to roll the dice with respect to (potential) physical consequences. Getting punched in the face really frames how you deal with situations going forward. lol I learned the hard way, but also learned to throw the first one...and make it count. lol Thankfully, I was in high school that last time that happened.
 
Thank you for sharing Mr Wolverine.

I can relate, in my case the girls resided in a separate building across the road. The boys school was run by Brothers, the girls by Nuns. We could be recipients of up to six "of the best" on the butt with a cane while the girls could expect up to six on the palms with a "seven eyed Susan", a small puck like wooden piece with seven holes through it on the end of a 12" rod.

We knew the rules, when we broke them and got caught we didn't cry, unfair or child abuse, we took the punishment knowing full well it could have been avoided. The last year I was at that school I got "four of the best", six of us did, we had decided to climb the swimming pool wall and go swimming in the nude at night. Kids think adults are stupid, these Brother were responsible for our wellbeing and after years of teaching boys knew every trick in the book, we got caught. It was reckless and dangerous and we knew it but we had agreed it was worth the punishment.

Non of us ever regretted the education, felt abused or required therapy. We did not became delinquents, wife or child abusers. The Brothers were strict but they were excellent educators, given the opportunity and means I would have problem sending my kids to the same school, of course it no longer exist and if it did it would have been shut down or converted to a safe-space!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom