•• WTF happened to my upper? ••

Curious to know, would this still be safe to shoot? Or would you be a magazine away from a destructive failure?

It should be fine. I've bent back warped ones and they still work. Just have to make sure you don't crush the inner diameter otherwise the bolt will bind.

You will never bend it back perfect though.

If its working like it is and the door is just a little stiff, you can just leave it like it is
 
The good news is that for 99% of recreational shooters it doesn't matter if the ejection port cover closes, or is even still there. Atleast you can still have fun with it.
 
For the cost of a new upper why not just be on the safe side and just get a new one? Would suck to hear that it blew up in your face.
 
It certainly could be straightened out to almost perfection with a carefully machined insert and point force on the defect. The insert would need to be close to zero clearance and have a relief under the affected area so that the upper could be "overbent" to straight. This insert could be made out of any hardwood! 7075 is great stuff. I have straightened out cast aluminum motorcycle rims for years, usually to better than OEM specs. Never a problem, of course there is repairable and then there is broke. Broke I don't fix. This I would fix.
 
Some people are making this out to be worse than it is. Its not going to blow up on you. It was working just fine other than the port cover being stiff.

OP- if you decide to scrap it, I'll buy it from you for a song ;)
 
If it were mine is bend it back and not hide any of the marks I made to make it right. Sometimes I need a reminder of when I make boo boos.
 
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