There are a few outstanding people out there. Save your pennies and take a look at Heirloom Precision and Luke Volkman. One of the reasons I went with NightHawk was their outstanding customer service and their flexibility. They will do just about anything you want and will use whatever parts you specify as long as they are top quality. I put about $800 of options on that gun and would do a few things differently for the next one if my manager didn't think I have enough guns. Some women have very weird values

Since you aren't a shooting noobie, you probably know there is nothing to fear from the right end of a 45 ACP. I've never found the .45 to be unpleasant to shoot. Think about what you will want to do with the gun before you commit. If you see yourself shooting IPSC or IDPA those sports have a definite influence over the choice of pistol and the caliber. I have two SIG's including and X-Five in DA/SA and now the SAO 1911 so I have a choice when it comes to the IPSC division I want to shoot in. There are a lot of factors besides appearance but you know that. Look into the equipment rules in the shooting sports if you think you might want to give that sort of thing a try. IPSC is sooooo much fun and the ladies do very well at the game. My club is always looking for new shooters.