Wiped ass with birchbark...hoop still sore...

Was out doing some shooting with friends,when l got the feeling.lt was quite unexpected ,so l head into
the woods find a spot with some leaves and something to prop over.So l finish ,find some leaves and whatever.By the time it takes to get back l know l had something wrong,my backside immediately got hot and itchy.That ended the day rather quickly!
 
One time a buddy and I were out for a nighttime rip on our snowmobiles and had convinced a couple local girls to come with us,about halfway along the trail on a hot chocolate break my buddy came to me and told me he had a VERY pressing urge and to cover for him(make something up to distract the ladies) while he took care of business, anyway a couple minutes later he walks back to the sleds, face bright red. It was soon apparent what had happened, he had pulled his skidoo suit down(new I might add) done his duty then zipped the suit back up,upon flicking the hood up he soon realized his terrible mistake,needless to say he rode home solo that night :p....what a ####ty trip.
Hunter.
 
thehunterman said:
One time a buddy and I were out for a nighttime rip on our snowmobiles and had convinced a couple local girls to come with us,about halfway along the trail on a hot chocolate break my buddy came to me and told me he had a VERY pressing urge and to cover for him(make something up to distract the ladies) while he took care of business, anyway a couple minutes later he walks back to the sleds, face bright red. It was soon apparent what had happened, he had pulled his skidoo suit down(new I might add) done his duty then zipped the suit back up,upon flicking the hood up he soon realized his terrible mistake,needless to say he rode home solo that night :p....what a ####ty trip.
Hunter.
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There is a life long lesson in there somewhere lol
 
Ive a few old work hoodies that no longer have front pockets. Birch bark was never an option for me. 4*4 squares have also been seen cut off of each leg of a pair of boxers.(pocket already gone)
 
jfarrell said:
I remember ducking hunting as a teeneager. I had my chest waders on and before light I had to go. I left the blind and went back in the woods and dropped my waders and pants and had a big dump. Wiped with TP I had and pulled up everything and went back to the blind. A few minutes later it smelled like **** in the blind. When it got light I realized I **** inside my chest waders.
Click to expand...

Takes a real man to admit you were "THAT GUY".
TFF
 
;)The problem with TP is a few Mountain House meals on your sheep trip and you've used it all up. Just bring a small spatula and you're good for the two weeks;)
 
I usually have sport socks on.... the long ones ...usually about 4 to 6 inchs of extra tube at the top works awesome !!!! A nephew l hunt with that no matter when or what we are hunting always needs to dump in the woods so l have gotten used to carrying every different fastfood restraunts napkins in the truck his wife still cant figure out why he used to cut chunks outta his boxers!!!
 
thehunterman said:
One time a buddy and I were out for a nighttime rip on our snowmobiles and had convinced a couple local girls to come with us,about halfway along the trail on a hot chocolate break my buddy came to me and told me he had a VERY pressing urge and to cover for him(make something up to distract the ladies) while he took care of business, anyway a couple minutes later he walks back to the sleds, face bright red. It was soon apparent what had happened, he had pulled his skidoo suit down(new I might add) done his duty then zipped the suit back up,upon flicking the hood up he soon realized his terrible mistake,needless to say he rode home solo that night :p....what a ####ty trip.
Hunter.
Click to expand...

This seems to happen to a good number of power line workers. Ive heard similar stories from a couple of them. Also, I like to keep a folded wad of paper towel in my hunting back for 'emergencies'. Cause you never know and I don't want to explain to the wife why I came back from that hunting trip with no gitch!
 
Oh boy, this thread is awesome.

I am a die hard baby wipes guy when in the bush, but I swear I am the only guy in camp who uses them!? The TP in the outhouses is awful, but none of the older guys seem to care...I am in heaven with my cool wet wipes LOL

That's not to say I've been accident free...

Last deer season was an embarrassing one. Just before the end of the morning watch, and after a night of dark beer and camp food, I felt a fart brewing.
I knew it could be dicey, so I exercised as much sphincter control as I could in an effort to ease out the gas pocket. No dice, my O-Ring gave way all at once and the instant I felt the heat in my seat I knew I was in trouble!
So with my pants & long johns down to knees, I pull my knife out to remove the offended undies from my person altogether before cleaning up.

Well I'll be damned if my concentration wasn't interrupted by howling laughter. The last guy in line was making his way back out only to walk up on my sorry ass.

"Happens to the best of us." he said without breaking a stride. Damn I love deer camp.
 
Mauser GDog said:
Oh boy, this thread is awesome.

I am a die hard baby wipes guy when in the bush, but I swear I am the only guy in camp who uses them!? The TP in the outhouses is awful, but none of the older guys seem to care...I am in heaven with my cool wet wipes LOL

That's not to say I've been accident free...

Last deer season was an embarrassing one. Just before the end of the morning watch, and after a night of dark beer and camp food, I felt a fart brewing.
I knew it could be dicey, so I exercised as much sphincter control as I could in an effort to ease out the gas pocket. No dice, my O-Ring gave way all at once and the instant I felt the heat in my seat I knew I was in trouble!
So with my pants & long johns down to knees, I pull my knife out to remove the offended undies from my person altogether before cleaning up.

Well I'll be damned if my concentration wasn't interrupted by howling laughter. The last guy in line was making his way back out only to walk up on my sorry ass.

"Happens to the best of us." he said without breaking a stride. Damn I love deer camp.
Click to expand...

Hahahahahaha Oh man...Great selection of words. Solid 5 minutes of all out laughter.
 
There's always at least 20 paper towels folded up in a sandwich bag in my knapsack for such occasions. Good luck next time, I bet ya learned ya lesson for next time. :cheers:
 
This thread is hilarious.

I always have a copy of the regulations - actually causes me less pain wiping with them than reading the articles from the self professed experts that add stories at the end...
 
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