......I hate the trigger on my M&P40
it's very stiff and hard to tell when its going to break. I know it should surprise me but this is different (not trying to blame my equipment

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Knowing you should pull through and doing it are often two different things. It seems like you're still trying to anticipate when the gun will go BANG! and are looking to stage the trigger and then snatch it through the last little bit of travel. That simply doesn't work. You're stacking the deck against your accuracy instead of helping it.
I'm not usually as big a fan of dry firing as some around here. But in this case it will help you a lot. But as someone above posted you have to practice the right stuff otherwise you simply get really good at doing it wrong.
The "right stuff" is learning to smoothly and evenly pull the trigger from start to stop all the way in one smooth motion while holding a good sight picture. No stops to stage just before the break point. And do a full pull right through and hold the trigger back all during the recoil to achieve a good follow through.
Work on some dry firing. Unfortunately with an M&P this involves racking the slide to reset the trigger each time. Another reason why I know you won't do a LOT of dry firing. So make the ones you do count and learn as much as you can.
Concentrate at first on simply building pressure in a continuous manner from beginning to rear travel limit in one smooth build. Notice I didn't tell you to move the trigger. I said to build the pressure. You provide the pressure smoothly and let the trigger move as and when it wants. If that means it sticks then jumps a little so be it. You simply build the pressure and let it move however it wants.
Do NOT try to stage the trigger. That's one of those bad habits that you'll get good at doing if you let yourself. You need to kick that one in the nutz right now before it becomes a habit. It WILL hold you back. The "Right Stuff" is to hold your sight picture and pull the trigger from start to finish right through.
Hand position and finger on the trigger on a hand gun counts for a lot. If you watched and are using the two hand method shown in the Travis Haley video I suggested earlier that's great. If you don't use that then start right now. If you want to use some other method later that's fine. But the method shown in the Haley video is solid and it works. So learn it and use it for now so you're starting with a known good quality method. When you're shooting nice tight groups you can try whatever floats your boat.
When you dry fire watch what the sight picture does when the trigger breaks. To see any motion you'll want to aim at something so you have a reference. Don't just point at a featureless wall.
Speaking of aiming. I'm sure you already know this but be sure it's the front sight that is in focus in your sight picture. Right? A double check doesn't hurt. OK, next.....
So you're watching the sight picture an building pressure on the trigger so the travel will occur over about a half second (for now). Watch the sight picture for a bit of a kick when the trigger does break. Assuming a right handed shooter if the front blade jumps a little to the left consistently then move more of your finger onto the trigger or try to work on a trigger pull that moves more from the middle joint and a little less from the knuckle. If you have the opposite problem and it kicks a little to the right all the time then don't put your finger onto the trigger quite as far or try to move the trigger finger more from the knuckle and less from the middle joint.
What you're aiming for (Good pun eh?

) is to get the sight picture to where it stays centered when the trigger breaks. The resistance of the trigger causes us to build up some pressure between our trigger finger and the rest of our grip. If the pressure on the trigger is off to one side the rest of our hand and wrist will compensate for that to hold the sight picture. But when the trigger breaks the pressures break the balance of forces that are holding the gun and that compensation pressure kicks the gun to the side before the bullet is out the bore. So the trick is to work on our trigger pull so that the tension is all straight back and in line with the gun. And if you see the sight picture kicking to one side or the other that is the imbalance of the side pressures being released unevenly and moving the gun. When you get it right the sights won't jump. In fact when it's really right you won't see the sight picture move at all. Not even a little jiggle. Be fussy here. Even the small stuff is big. Only perfection is good enough. Work on your trigger pull until you can hear and feel the "CLICK" without the sight picture jumping at all.
If you're holding on really hard it can be just as bad or worse than holding on too lightly. Too firm a hold makes it hard to isolate and move your trigger finger smoothly while the rest of your fingers don't move at all. In effect if you're gripping over hard you end up pulling the trigger with your whole hand. It's Baby Bear's porridge time in that just right is just enough. You want enough grip pressure that the gun doesn't move in your grip from shot to shot. But no more than that. And with the correct grip done well you can use a lot less grip pressure than you think. So work on that nice totally enveloping grip with the gun deep in your hands and work on using a little less pressure to hold it in place.
Arms matter as well. Get the elbows turned out slightly. Don't go nutz but definitely point them out a little and keep them slightly broken. Watch some good IPSC shooters for examples of this.
I'll finish up with a repeat about this all being more than a little "Zen" like. Try to put the BANG out of your mind and focus on your job. Namely sight picture and smooth pause free pressure build. It's much like archery with old style bows where you draw and release all in one smooth motion. Support the gun with a firm hold but don't choke the life from it. The style of the hold is more important than the pressure used. And work on the dry firing with small changes to achieve a good direct trigger motion with no staging and no sight picture kick or jiggle.
If you can achieve these things then putting cartridges into the gun will be almost like an aftermath.