I bought my wife a Husky 1640 Carbine in .30/06, which is light weight, and has a 21" light contour barrel. The LOP is cut to 12" which is a hair short for her, but at the same time its nearly perfect when she's wearing a parka, and the butt has a Decelerator recoil pad. I tried to get her used to a 1.75-6X Leupold, but she didn't like the wobbly sight picture, so the rifle has a high Weaver XS ghost ring, and a Ruger barrel band front sight base fitted with a rectangular post. If you are getting your wife to shoot a scoped rifle, be sure she has enough eye relief so that she won't get hit by the ocular. Originally I had mounted a sling swivel ahead of the floorplate to accommodate a 3 point Ching Sling, but I cut it off when I discovered the Safari Ching Sling which attaches to the rifle conventionally.
I began loading 125 gr bullets at 2600 fps, which with a light load of 3031, or 4895 is very gentle, in fact my nephew swore they were lighter than my cast bullet loads. I don't normally have 150s on hand so the jump was to 190 gr cast bullets at 1800, then it wasn't long before she was shooting jacketed 180s loaded to 2500. The 180 gr TSXs I loaded for her bear loads make 2700 out of that 21" barrel, and if she has to shoot a bear in a defensive situation, I doubt she'll notice the rifle recoils at all. In practice, from 5 yards, with her back to the target, when I yell bear, she turns towards the target, shoulders the rifle, works the bolt, and fires 2 rounds. She is amazingly quick, and usually puts both rounds in the 1" black.
If you lived close by, I could lend you this rifle and some 125s to see if your wife could manage it, and while I expect she can, its like she has a mental block put up against centerfire rifles. This is one reason why I prefer to start a novice shooter with a gently loaded centerfire at the same time as a .22, whereas if they start with a .22 rimfire, the centerfire becomes an obstacle for some. But rifle fit and a good recoil pad makes up for lots, and a good bullet like a 130 gr TTSX loaded to 2600 fps won't do a bear any good. Hearing protection is a big one too, as many find the blast from a centerfire rifle more intimidating than the recoil. If you teach her to sling up, it will ensure the butt stays tight in her shoulder, so the rifle does't have a chance to take a run at her; one of her problems might be that because she's nervous about the recoil, she doesn't hold the rifle tightly enough in her shoulder. When she shoulders the rifle, once she has a rough sight picture, get her to lower he right elbow, this closes the pocket of the shoulder and protects it from the recoil.
Here's some photos of my wife's rifle being shot by our grandson, who at the time was a small 13 year old . . .
