Dimitri said:
“I think when Laz said he was not going to be posting on the MBR forum in the new year was like every other person who's done similar posts. Simply a attention seeker. Sometimes caused by a personal insecurity.”
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Misanthropist said:
I've never understood the guys who post "I'm not posting" posts.
If you don't want to post, don't post. Don't post a post to tell us you won't be posting posts in the future, then follow up your post with subsequent postings. That is a fairly clear indication in my mind that you do not actually want to stop posting, because if you did...you wouldn't.
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What LAZ REALLY said in his kiss off posting last year was actually:
"LAZ will NOT be posting AS MUCH in the Battle Rifle Section in the New Year.
If some people were deluding themselves into hoping that I would not be posting, anything, ever again, to the BR forum ….
Well that was merely …
??self delusional wishful thinking??? On their part.
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Oh yeah,
nearly forgot,
Incorrigible said:
“Regardess of how compelling ones facts are or the amount of historical and practical experience one has obtained, if a person cannot articulate themselves like an adult without breaking down into a frothing, estrogen-packed hissy fit they lose a significant amount of credibility.”
To which LAZ replied:
My CREDIBILTY is bigger than your credibility!!!
And just because I am still in touch with the child within,
and you ain't,
is no cause for you to be jealous.”
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And QUAPAGUY said:
“All the guys with their little AR's going "pop pop" like cap guns will look over enviously when they hear the "thud thud" of Godzilla beating his chest next to them. Comparing a Norc to the real deal is kinda like comparing a Hyundai Tiburon to a Porsche 911.. just a cheap copy. Yeah, they saved some bucks, but you know what, some things in life you do get what you pay for.”
I recognised that quote from somewhere, and when I dug deep into my GEMCRT Mall Security Specialist Trainee Orientation binder I found it [ that damn binder is SIX inches thick ].
This quote is a flagrant rip off, a paltry piece of plagiarism, ripped directly from the chapter on Special Weapon’s Selection for Mall Security.
In an attempt to find out the real true facts in the original question,
“Why no love for the SOCOM?”,
I contacted the primary acknowledged, covert, final expert on all things Tacticool, for his opinion.
That’s right folks … I asked Grand Master Gecko himself about the SOCOM, and the persistent rumors that the SOCOM was the primary lethal weapon of choice for his personally trained Gecko Elite Mall Crisis Response Team [ GEMCRT ]. And to tattle on Quapa for posting TOP secret GEMCRT information on an open, unsecured, publicly accessible internet forum.
And guess what?
GM Gecko actually dropped in personally to give the straight poop on the subject.
And when I say dropped in, I mean that literally.
The wife and I were just about to get frisky in our bedroom last night, when off of the ceiling, a shadowy shadow dropped lightly on to the foot of our bed. I knew at once who it had to be, even if I couldn’t see his face behind the Jack Bauer mask he was wearing at the time. I should have been alerted by the slobbering/snoring/farting from my 110 lb German Shepherd Dog, Ben, a highly trained K9 guard unit, who like myself was eagerly awaiting some replies from all those resumes I‘d sent out requesting employment in the burgeoning field of Mall Security.
Even a new Mall Cop applicant/wannabe like myself, knows that the sopophoric that the legendary GM G uses to put K9 units under, during his COVERT, low priority , infiltrations, causes slobbering/snoring/farting in the K9 units so doped [ but truthfully, in my defence, with “Gentle Ben”, it is sometimes difficult to see the difference.] And of course, I knew this was a benign visit, because on his NON-covert, HIGH Priority nocturnal visitations, GM G will usually leave the head of the K9 unit on the pillow beside the sleeping villain, and the head of said villain’s wife stacked neatly in the doorway.
So I asked GM GECKO, himself, to his face [ well to his Jack Bauer mask anyways ] if Quapa was a GEMCRT agent, privy to those types of secrets, and if Quapa had breached security by posting GEMCRT top secret, eyeballs only, “I can tell you, but I’d have to kill you” tactical info in an open, un secure channel, like CGN.
Gecko assured me that while Quapa was a FORMER GEMCRT member, that he had been kicked out …”Loose lips sink ships …” and Quapa had earned himself a bad rep by having previously, been a bit too loose with GEMCRT secrets on other unsecured public forums.
So Quapa mi compadre in the Mall cop brotherhood, I may be only a wannabe apprentice mall cop, but you are definitely a Has Been. And my advice to you is to sleep lightly. And if you have any love left for your loved ones, in that treacherous, traitorous EX-mall cop heart of yours, send your dog to a boarding kennel for a few weeks if you don’t want any surprises on the pillow next to yours. As for your wife … well that is your call.
Gecko also enlightened me about the tactical role of the SOCOM in mall security, where the short barrel, compact size, and thunderous roar, had indeed stricken terror into the hearts of many a Mall Terrorist. But of course these encounters never make it to page one in the papers, due to stringent Homeland Insecurity regulations regarding admitting that we were actually LOSING the war on terror, and that the terrorist had already been …wellllll striking terror … at the very heart of America … in its Malls. This dirty little war is fought in secret … to protect the innocent sleep of all Americans … who need to know that their way of life, their ability to buy anything any time at any Mall of their choice, is safe.
Gecko admitted that the SOCOM was PREVIOUSLY standard issue to Mall security strike teams across America, usually a few dozen stored deep underground in the “Special room”, where only highly trained, security cleared, and psychologically vetted Mall Security Agents can ever hope to venture.
In fact, Gecko even admitted that he personally had a hand in designing the SA SOCOM specifically for the tactical requirements of Mall Security.
Of course Gecko’s team of scientists [ “Q” branch ] then took your common, run of the mill SA SOCOM, and customized it to the limit. Things like re-casting the SA SOCOM receiver from a special grade of UNOBTAINIUM ORE, found only at the bottom of the crater left by that meteorite in Roswell [ and Gecko assured me it was indeed nothing more than a “meteorite …nudge nudge …wink ..wink ]. That is why the SOCOM has a CAST receiver … UNOBTAINIUM still can’t be forged, like softer, less sturdy, conventional metals.
And Gecko waxed eloquent regarding the special SUPRACAMO paint jobs that these SOCOMS were then given. Q Branch, directed by Gecko’s NINJA trained camo experts, had of course gained experience with SUPRACAMO previously on the Stealth bomber anti radar paint, etc. But that was just a kindergarden warm up exercise. The Q team had taken things to a whole new level.. Not only does the SUPRACAMO paint of the GEMCRT modified SOCOMs make it nearly invisible to any non-Ninja trained eyes, but it actually has some special Ninja Pixy dust embedded in the paint [ scrapings from the aforementioned “meteorite” … nudge nudge …wink …wink ], that fools the common eyeball into thinking the GEMCRT SOCOM is something else entirely.
The latest version of SUPRACAMO makes the GEMCRT SOCOM look just like a common umbrella.
So if you ever see a mall cop racing towards the umbrella rack …duck and roll.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! The SH!T STORM is coming!!!!
I am not giving out any trade secrets here, because in the modern, fast moving, technologically cascading world of high risk Mall security, the GEMCRT SOCOM is old news … last years racing bicycle so to speak.
So we ordinary people are now priveleged to be enlightened about some of the formerly secret specifications of the GEMCRT SOCOM.
Calibre ….308 WIN of course!
chosen for its versatiliy, and ability for use with mission specialized ammunition specifically tailored to mall security requirements.
Eg: the French branch of the World Wide Ninja brotherhood, labored hard and long to come up with special ARCANE bullets, for MAXIMUM penetration on those [ increasingly more common ] Threat level III bullet proof vest wearing MALL TERRORISTS. So now, instead of merely killing ONE BPVWMT, you can wait until two or more of them line up, and take your shot …. Deleting three tangos at once with one shot, gets you bonus points, a raise, and a genuine GOLD plated lapel pin, to wear proudly.
And, for the new generation of BPVWMT, who pack their BPV with contact explosives designed to detonate on impact from a high velocity bullet, the special shape of the NEW generation of ARCANE BULLETS, has been re-designed to generate a special shock dampening reverse shock wave that will NOT detonate the vests … most of the time. The excellent OVERpenetration of the OLD ARCANE bullets is retained, so you can still get the bonus points for making a three-for-one-shot, but the new bullets will penetrate without detonating any contact explosives that may be present …some of the time.
And for those of you wondering about why the SA SOCOM design and marketing team, chose 16” as the proper barrel length for a dedicated Mall security firearm … well it turns out that the reduced muzzle velocity from a 16" barrel is a requirement for generating the proper harmonics in the anti-shock wave and the proper operation of the anti exploding ARCANE bullets.
hich may work ...maybe?
Slap your head …
it all makes sense now.
The SA SOCOM is not merely a firearm … it is a complete weapon SYSTEM …
optimized for one environment and one environment only … Mall Security. And in that environment, up till now, it has reigned supreme. Deleting TANGOS, two or three t a time, efficiently making America and its malls safe for everyone …
everyone who doesn’t dress funny, wear baggy clothes, or have a turban.
HOW TACTICOOL CAN ONE GUN GET?
So there we have it. The Tactical requirement that make the SOCOM rifle what it is today ... the most Tacticool weapon ever previously deployed by covert Mall Security experts.
But what has replaced the old war horse SOCOM ….
Well I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you” …
and we don’t want that.
I will however hint that the 6.8 cartridge did NOT spring up in a vacuum.
YES, you guessed it …GM G himself had a hand in developing this new wundercartridge. And it is IDEAL for Mall Security when used with the new 6.8 ARCANE bullets.
Don’t look for the specialized ARCANE 6.8 ammunition on the shelves of your ordinary local gunstore …unless they are in one of the few, select Malls , that has to have some extra ammo around in the back room …just in case the GEMCRT team runs low during an escalating Mall fire fight.
And while I can’t actually tell you the manufacturer’s name without breaching GEMCRT security, [ and risking one of those dreaded nocturnal HIGH priority, NON-covert visits from GM G ] I am authorized to hint that the name has an R and a U in it.
LAZ 1,
Soon to be an Apprentice, Level 1, Mall Security Specialist [ along with Gentle Ben , the K9 wonder dog ]… drooling and slobbering and farting, in a Mall near you.
[that would be Ben doing the DSF, not me ]
[;{)
good god man get a room and wear protection next time, whatever ever they had that irritated them has clearly crawled up inside and took up residence. That constant, nawing pain might actually account for all the hostility. Perhaps one could take a bit of their own advice and not regurgitate whatever they've douched from other forums onto this one. Oooo boy, lets all just jump on the horse and do whatever the Americans do... its worked out world wide so well for them.
This thread is a very interesting read... carry on.
I do love a sharp wit Laz... well played.
