Wiped ass with birchbark...hoop still sore...

Headed out for whitetail this morning and didn't have even a scrap of teepee with me...inevitable - as soon as I got to my spot, I had to dump. It was either crunchy frozen oak leaves or strips of birchbark...I'll never complain about the sandpaper we have for toilet paper at work again...

Why would they use sandpaper at your workplace it is more expensive than toilet paper?
 
Ouch. If it's not bad enough to have to pull it all down and squat in the bush. TP is second on my list to my ammo. I think I've become a master at squatting and balancing just right to ensure nothing gets hit. Not sure if it's a badge of honour.
 
Take an empty tp roll
Small bottle of purell
Wrap new tp around purell
Shove in tp roll
Easily transported - make one for the glovebox, boat, atv, anywhere really
 
You know, I was just thinking about this thread the other day, and here it pops up again..

Perhaps the OP can give us some insight into the long term side effects of using birchbark on ones hoop. Lol
 
a few years ago I was turkey hunting....I put my back against a tree and had a dump. I had toilet paper though. I wiped, and as I was trying to get up, I fall into my dump. My bum was gooey. And then i tried to get up again, and slipped and my left hand which was cold fell into my dump. My hand was cold, and the dump very warm. I finally managed to get up, and pulled up my breeches, after I wiped yet again. I had to go down to a creek to wash off my bum and hand. Needless to say I got hypothermia, and the turkeys must of had a great laugh.
 
why is that.....you mean you might trip over all those empty whiskey bottles of Phil's in the forest, or are you talking about that white toilet paper.
 
Sit down on your ass and get you legs moving just like a Dog,works great just got to watch out for brass casings and rocks.

Now that one gave me a laugh.


But - yes - a few baby wipes in a ziplock freezer bag go with me everywhere. You only get one a$$hole in your life (that you're stuck with), so you ought to make a general exception by treating that one well.
 
I once had to dump while out sledding, only thing I had to use was a old t shirt rag that had 2 stroke gas and oil all over it. It stung for about 5 min until I made it home to re wash my ass. The second time I used a couple of those armour all detailing wipes that come in the round plastic can, my taint and turd cutter never felt so smooth and conditioned.....
 
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