an Express kicking more than a Wingmaster? that has to be one of the dumbest things youve
ever posted - and thats quite a feat.
there are a few factors that will influence felt recoil:
1. gun fit
2. action type (gas operated semis recoil the least, fixed breech guns the most)
3. gun weight (the lighter the gun, the more the felt recoil)
4. recoil pad (a quality pad can make a
big difference)
5. ammunition (heavier the load, heavier the recoil regardless of the gun/gauge)
i have at least a dozen shotguns, my g/f and her friends like to shoot this one the most:
its a 20 gauge 870 Express Compact Jr (about $350 new).
it started life looking like this:
and also comes in pink if youre into that sortof thing:
^they comes from the factory with a halfway decent short length of pull stock (better fit for women) with the newer Remington Supercell recoil pad (not a bad pad). they have shorter barrels (with removable chokes) which are easier for smaller folk to wield.
Mine has a Knoxx recoil-reducing stock added to it. this stock has some springs in it and actually sucks up a lot of the recoil.
its one of the softest recoiling shotguns I have shot. the stock is also adjustable from approx. a 12" length of pull to an over 14" one, so if any taller people in your family want to shoot it they can easily adjust it for themselves. women who shoot my shotguns actually seem more comfortable with the pistol grip for some reason, it seems to be more intuitive and ergonomic for them. you can get Knoxx stocks for both 20 and 12 gauge.
i would recommend something like this. you could try it with the factory stock - the Remington Supercell pad is actually quite decent - and upgrade the stock to a Knoxx if want to tame recoil even more.
if you want something more 'conventional' looking you can pick up a gas-operated semi, but a good pump will last you a lifetime of service with little or no maintenance at all.
you can also get managed recoil ammunition for both 12 and 20 gauge.
good luck in the search, and welcome to CGN!
*edit:
i should add that my recommendation is for women looking for an all-purpose hunting/home defence/plinking shotgun.
if you want to do some more formal, competitive shooting like clays, skeet, etc then follow Claybuster's advice above.