Wiped ass with birchbark...hoop still sore...

IMO the very best natural toilet paper is moss. Get it ready in advance, and make sure there are no *>* needles in it.
But really guy, you should never go out unprepared. If you are the type that stays out all day, it's going to get you at least once.
 
The wife is starting to question whats happening to all my tshirts. My answer is snagging them in thick cover,got to go where the big bucks are hiding I say.
 
Everyone who spends any time at all in the bush ends up in this predicament, I have many missing pockets, socks and sleeves as well. Most of my life I worked in the bush, and spend my free time there as well. I also know someone that used poison ivy, that must have a horrible 4 days in the hospital for sure.

I always have TP in all my vehicles, baby wipes in my packs. The wipes are also handy for cleaning your hands after field dressing your game. It has been years now since I have had to improvise due to no TP or wipes.


Some of the posts here are priceless, a chip bag? Seriously? That would be like wiping your ass with wax paper!
 
Man, just do it old school. There's a reason why it's an insult to shake with your left hand.

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Originally Posted by cote_b
I once had to use a gun cleaning rag that had been freshly sprayed with rem oil not 5 minutes before those Jalapenos caught up with me.

Doesn't rem oil have lanolin??
 
At camp, grabbed my rifle and headed off behind a tree to take a "breaK"

Buddies laughed and asked "what's that for? In case a bear comes out?"

I said "Nope... in case the video camera does"
 
My old roommate worked in construction outside of the city, I could always tell when there was no port-a-potty on site and nothing to wipe with, he'd come back with only one sock....
 
This post is awesome, so many great lines... I grew up as a scout camping in the bushes and to this date I have yet to have to improvise TP. But I will be using a sock or going commando before I try bark, leaves or moss.
 
It's probably bad form to try to add a serious comment to this thread, but one of the best pieces of gear advice I ever got was to take several sheets of paper towel, fold them down into smaller squares, fit them into a ziplock bag, press the air out and voila -- a very small, very light, and surprisingly long-lasting supply of modern comfort. It takes virtually no room in a pack compared to a fluffy roll of TP, and is by far the best plan when loading a pack for an outing of several days -- or just loading a fanny bag at the beginning of deer season.

It's called "planning", gentlemen :p
 
one of the best pieces of gear advice I ever got was to take several sheets of paper towel, fold them down into smaller squares, fit them into a ziplock bag, press the air out and voila -- a very small, very light, and surprisingly long-lasting supply of modern comfort. It takes virtually no room in a pack compared to a fluffy roll of TP

Similarly, you can just use TP. There are three options which are far superior to paper towel...

First, you an pull designated lengths of TP off the roll and fold it up and stack it in a Ziploc bag. I'm guessing that most here wipe their ass with four squares of TP, which means you can fold that in half and half again, equalling 1 square. You can easily fit a weeks worth of TP in a 17.7 x 19.7 cm Ziploc bag using this method.

Second, you can just use the standard roll of tp when it gets low-on-the-roll. Just take the roll off the wall when it gets fairly low, crush it and put it in a Ziploc bag. This too will last you a week and takes up very little space.

And third..Coghlans Tissue On The Go. It's standard 2-ply TP, although you don't really get THAT much. But it's nice and small.
These guys sell it: h ttp://www.mec.ca/AST/ShopMEC/HikingCamping/HealthSafety/BathProducts/PRD~5010-241/coghlans-tissue-on-the-go-toilet-paper.jsp
 
If I know when I'm going hunting/fishing, I remove the rolls about a quarter way left.
Squish and zippy.
End of a barrel makes for a good roll holder.
Best to keep the primer popper close.
How you decide the action safe is up to you.
No soggy dropped in the discharge paper this way.
 
Checking out the number of views on this topic compared to the other threads tells a little story all in itself.
 
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